Narada Bhakti Sutras Lecture 31 Su.45-47 on 02-April-2019

Opening Invocation

ॐ जननीं सारदां देवीं रामकृष्णं जगदगुरुम पादपद्मे तयो: श्रित्वा प्रणमामि मुहुर्मुहु :

Om Jananim Saradam devim Ramakrishnam jagadgurum Padapadme tayoh shritva pranamami muhurmuhuh.

Narada Bhakti Sutras: Study on Satsanga and Spiritual Practice

The Foundation: Cultivating Satsanga and Avoiding Dusanga

We are studying Narada Bhakti Sutras. Narada has told us that you have to do certain things, and you have to avoid certain others. The essence of that is: satsanga should be cultivated, and dusanga should be assiduously avoided. Why? Because both are the result of cultivation. Whether you eat healthy food or unhealthy food, it is a cultivation.

We are all cultivating rather bad company rather than good company. Show me one person who eats only healthy food. Show me a person who doesn't eat this untasty food. Healthy food means not very tasty. Tasty food means usually unhealthy food.

The Example of the Mango

The mango is very tasty. Is it healthy food? No, it creates heat. There was a pregnant woman—I did not know about it. I was staying in Pālladi, and one of their children... They were serving us mango every day. They came to know that I love mangoes. I love only two things, you know that? I love mangoes, and I love people who hate mangoes.

So I was talking with her. I asked, "Do you love mangoes?" She said, "Yes." "Then why are you not eating?" "It creates heat, which is harmful for the baby."

What about this baby? It is ātman. So many things are very harmful, very hot—especially Andhra people. You should know how much they take spice. They take a lot of water. In Guntur especially, we grow chillies, and make chilli curry.

The Necessity of Spiritual Company

So satsanga has to be seriously cultivated. Dusanga, we are already cultivating. What is it? Ninety-nine percent of the people that we are living with are worldly people. So we have to cultivate assiduously people who are such people—it means spiritual aspirants.

Then comes kāma, krodha, moha, smṛti, bhrāmśa. Four things: kāma (desires). So here also, there is something we have to understand. Is kāma really bad? Unspiritual? No.

The Nature of Desire

For God, it is not a desire. Ramakrishna says, you know, sugar candy doesn't fall under sugary products. Sugar candy rather cools the body. Sugar candy is sherbet. So like that, there is one type of grain, and that grain is not like other grains. It is healthy. There are some beliefs out there. What he wants to tell is that there are certain things which are very healthy.

The Paradox of Love in Spiritual Life

So all the people that we surround ourselves with, especially our so-called loving people—our mother, our father—the more somebody loves, the worse it is for our spiritual life, I tell you. If your husbands love you, this is the greatest obstacle in spiritual life. If they hate you, then you are likely to progress in spiritual life.

Then why does rāga come? If they love you, it is the nature of love—you also get attracted. And if you are attracted, you think, "I want this kind of person only, life after life." That is how anything that we love becomes a bonding.

Learning to Love Through Family

But certain lessons also we have to learn. What is it? It is this: how to love God. If we do not receive love from our parents, if we do not love our children, what is this receiving love from the parents? It is called learning how to love. The sacrifice, you know, that parents make, especially when we are babies.

We are ungrateful when we grow up. Some people say, "What is this love? It is your duty. I have heard these people say, 'Did you plan for us? You enjoyed, you and your husband. Accidentally we came, you know. So it is your duty to bring us up. You brought us up, and we will also do something like that when we grow up.'" Bye—like that they go and start their separate house in the West. Here also it is happening.

But there is something very valuable there. If the parents had not been implanted with that love, we wouldn't survive. So when we become parents, we practice how to give that love because they got that love from their parents. So we are getting this love: "Oh, Mā, we have to practice."

The Evolution of Love

But usually what happens is this love is confined only to our people—our children, our family, etc. It is self-love. But there is a purpose. The purpose is we are learning how to love.

And the more we love, this is what Swami Vivekananda says: Laila-Majnu, Romeo-Juliet, Dhruva-Maṅgalā, prostitute, Tulsidas's wife—because they have developed that what we call worldly attachment to the ninth degree. A time has come. Now they are ready. Now it can be redirected towards God.

So without that kind of love, our love for our worldly people also will be small. Our love for God also will be exactly the same. If you have got one chatak of love, you can give either to dog or God—exactly the same thing, because you don't have more.

Saṃsāra as a Teacher

That is why saṃsāra is created. We have to love people to open our hearts. We can learn a lot from saṃsāra. That's why God created it. What is saṃsāra? So much comedy is there, so much tragedy is also there.

At first, we feel very shocked by something like death. Not only that—parents, they say, especially the mother, become very depressed when their children grow up and then establish their own separate life. Then "I am no longer valuable"—these feelings, it seems, come. I don't know how far people feel it.

So they go into depression. Then some people take up some new job, etc., that feeling that "I am wanted." Because the child runs "Mom, Mom, Mom!" Even though the child is giving trouble, the mother is very happy inside: "I am valued. The child cannot live without me." Now the child has kicked you off and gone away. Then we feel depressed.

Learning from Saṃsāra

So after many, many births, we become wise and learn how to cope with tragedy. That's why both happiness and unhappiness teach us great lessons. So saṃsāra is a very useful thing.

Sometimes people give us trouble. They betray us. It's happening every day. Not only that—a husband or wife, they are having some affair with someone. It is a tragedy. So at first, this fellow feels, "What is the use of living? We want to commit suicide."

But after some time, he understands: "Saṃsāra means like this. Nothing is reliable." Once he learns that lesson, he moves forward. So we should not misunderstand saṃsāra only as dangerous, as Māyā laying a big trap. Used properly, it has got a lot of usefulness.

Kāma: Friend and Enemy

So kāma, desire, is both—it is an enemy, it is also the greatest friend. Because it is this kāma, when enormously increased and directed towards God, it becomes a friend. Kāma—the difference is: what is the object you desire? Is it a worldly thing? You become worldly. If it's God, you become godly.

That's why in the Bhagavad Gītā, there are invaluable insights:

dharmāviruddho bhūteṣu kāmo 'smi bharatarṣabha

"I am kāma among beings, which is unopposed to dharma."

So dhārmik kāma—I am dhārmik kāma.

Marriage and Dharma

If a man and a woman get married, is it dharma or adharma? It depends upon how it is used. If marriage is used for animal-like enjoyment, it is adharma. If it is used according to scriptural rules and regulations, as our ancestors used to do—our ṛṣis, when they got married, they also had children. So it is not that they were just mechanically producing children. They also had desires because the body will have desires.

So that is why this Aditi and Diti—both were wives. Then you see, this Diti, one evening she could not control her desire. She approached her husband and forced her husband to have union with her. Then she fulfilled her desire, but he said, "This is unśāstric, therefore you will get children, but they will become daityas, rākṣasas."

So Aditi's children became the devatas, and Diti's children became daityas. So he said that this is not the right time: "You approach at the right time, then everything will be good." But she did not heed it.

This is what Krishna is referring to: dharmāviruddho bhūteṣu kāmo 'smi bharatarṣabha—"O Arjuna, I am kāma which is practiced with dharma."

That is why saptapadī and all those things. So if we practice what is called dhārmik, fulfilled dhārmik kāma—kāma in a dhārmik way—it will purify us and it will slowly take us to God.

The Role of Gender in Spiritual Practice

Today's understanding: previously, saṃsāra is bonding. And then the second thing is, in our scriptures, you show me one scripture where woman is not condemned. "Woman is the gateway to hell. She tempts men and makes them deviate from the path of God." Like that, every scripture will tell you. Why? Because they were all written by whom? Puruṣa.

No, no—puruṣa means men too. I can guess they were all prostrated souls.

But Śrī Ramakrishna came, and Swami Vivekananda said, "Who is the greatest enemy of man and woman? Man." What does that mean? He said, "So long as a person exists with the feeling 'I am a male,' that feeling—how do you know you are male? Because there is a woman. If I am a man, there is a woman. That means he is acutely conscious of male-female distinction. Then desire will be there."

The Example of Ramakrishna and Holy Mother

If a person is very spiritual—they are householders. Gṛhastha, for example, you know, they fulfilled their desires. They were not—they were householders. So Śrī Ramakrishna tells: when a husband marries, he can't simply say, "I am a spiritual person. You do whatever—you cook and wash and do all those things. But I will be a spiritual person." He is doing adharma, practicing adharma. You have to give her one or two children so that she will be very happy: "I am a mother." He said, "Every woman wants to be called a mother."

So Śrī Ramakrishna and Holy Mother came together. It is an extraordinary life. You will not get anywhere in the world, so far as I know. I don't get it.

Their Divine Agreement

Śaradā Devī came, and then he said, "We are married. I cannot take an arbitrary decision. But I will tell you: I am a sannyāsī. You be here and only cook and remain at a distance. You will not come near me. But I want to lead a godly life. What do you wish?"

What is he telling in plain language? "If you want me to behave like a husband, I will behave."

Holy Mother said, "I have not come here to take you away from God. I also want to follow the same path. But I have a desire: I want to be called a mother."

He said, "Physically impossible for me to give children. But you will get so many children. Later on, you will regret: 'Why did you ask for this?' Children will come. They become holes. You feel like closing them: 'Mā, Mā, Mā' like that."

So that is what is happening now. More time is passing, but she can't go anywhere because where will she go? She is a widow. We got so many children; she can't run away. Whenever we cry, she has to hear, whether she likes it or not.

Ramakrishna's Exemplary Behavior

So then he said, "I will accept it." But see the greatness of the man. They are married. Arbitrarily, any other monk—what will he do? "I am a monk. I get out of this place. I have no responsibility for you." Ramakrishna said, "I have responsibility for you."

So he arranged to fulfill some of her desires, like some ornaments. You know that kaṅkaṇa? Yes. When he had darshan of Mother Sītā, and he described to the goldsmith: "I want kaṅkaṇa like that." That's why when you look at Holy Mother, that is what Mother Sītā was wearing.

So he fulfilled. And then he also took care. "How much money is there? Every day, he was asking, "How many rotis will be cooked? So if you live for fifty years more, so much expense is there. So much money, so much interest." He never—he was not good at mathematics, you know. So he used to—inflation never struck him, that the rates are not going to be the same.

So Śrī Ramakrishna set an example of how an ideal householder should be.

The Divine Nature of Their Relationship

It's another story—I will not go into the details—why did Śrī Ramakrishna, being a monk, keep Holy Mother with him, which is against the sannyāsī's dharma? Nobody could answer. Only we could answer: because he wanted to show to people that it is possible—man and woman can live together. They were not old, very young, yes. But they can lead a divine life.

So how an ideal householder should be—only one point: later on, Holy Mother used to say, "Even by throwing a flower, He did not hurt me." Even He did not address me—there are three forms, you know, in Hindi you understand.

So one day, you know that incident—one day He thought Lakṣmī is there. There was a villager; he was closest. He said, "Mother," she said, "Yes." Then he realized it is not Lakṣmī, it is Holy Mother. He said, "Next whole night, I could not sleep because I addressed you in the third form, not in the second form."

And then, you know that when she came, she had fever. When she reached, some fever was there. Then he made her lie down. After giving some food, he came and started massaging her feet. She protested. Then he said something very valuable. He said, "If I am sick, she will serve me. If you are sick, I have to serve you. We are here to serve each other."

How many husbands agree to this kind of—you know, always in Vaikuṇṭha, Nārāyaṇa and Lakṣmī. Whoever says Nārāyaṇa, only Lakṣmī has to go and serve him. So this is the idea.

The Growth of Desire

So kāma—legitimate kāma ultimately will lead us to God. So kāma by itself is not the enemy. Kāma which is unrestrained, unbounded by dharma, and mostly saṃsāric desires—that is the greatest enemy.

Then kāma thwarted brings krodha. Krodha brings moha. Moha means he doesn't know what to do, what not to do. Then smṛti-bhrāmśa—whoever is in front of him, it could be guru, he could kill guru also.

A Tragic Example

One incident was there in Vṛndāvana. Now the land, dust of Vṛndāvana is more costly than even bad land. One big āśrama was there. In those days, you know, so many acres—fifteen, twenty acres of āśrama. One old guru was there. He only decided everything.

One day, when the guru was meditating, his disciple took a gun, blasted the guru's head, and then bribed the police. And he became in charge. So he became the ācārya. If he only knew what is the result of this, what is going to come to him, would anybody do it? He thought that who will come to know? In India, you can bribe and then do so many things. Anyway, this creates a lot of problems.

Power, money—this is the trap: moha. So what is the problem? Moha. What happens? Moha brings smṛti-bhrāmśa.

The Mechanism of Memory Loss

Memory—memory means when I recognize "you are so-and-so, you are so-and-so, you are so-and-so," then I know what is my relationship, how to behave, how not to behave.

So why is he mentioning all these things? Dusanga creates all these things. Dusanga invariably—what happens? It produces kāma. Kāma means for worldly enjoyment. If it produces desire for God, then it is not bad.

The Ocean of Desires

So then he is telling something in the next sūtra very important:

taraṅgāyitā api ime saṅgāt samudrayante

So a small wave, small desire. "Okay, what is the harm in small desire? It is not a big harm, just small desire." Today it will be one small desire, and tomorrow it will grow and give babies. It also gets married.

You know how it gets married? Simple example: a fellow wants to drink tea. Alright, now tea is a very harmless thing. He will drink tea. Then slowly he says, "Please water it. Make it more thick. And there is not sufficient amount of sugar." This is called Marwari tea.

Have you ever tasted Marwari tea? Like pāyasam, you know—condensed milk with ginger, with elāchi, so many other things. It is pure pāyasam with tea taste. This is called Marwari tea.

How many times I have been—whenever I go to a Marwari shop, of course he is charging me indirectly through other things, whatever I buy. But very tasty, very rich, you know that? Yes. So he says, "Why not? I have this one." Like that, it goes on growing and growing and growing. Ultimately, it becomes what? Ocean—huge, many, many numbers of small, small waves.

Then one day it becomes a tsunami, and then how much destruction will come? This is what he is teaching: taraṅgāyitā. Taraṅga means the waves. All these desires—because kāma is not one desire. The eye wants to see something, the ears want to hear, the nose wants to smell something, the tongue wants to taste, then the throat, the sparśa wants to have something.

So what is this? Sparśa-sukha. What is it? Sparśa-sukha. When it is too hot, I want to make it cold. So that is for what? Skin.

So one day it becomes samudrayate.

The Power of Association

Then he says "saṅgāt." What is saṅgāt? See, here is a person. He has got a desire. He is hungry. Let us say he is hungry. He wants to eat something. Then you see in the house there is some rāgi muddē. Something is there. "It is okay, go and eat."

But passing in front of a sweetmeat shop when he is hungry—then this same desire has a saṅga in this sweetmeat shop. Then what happens? He wants to buy some sweet. Small desire becomes big desire. Then unfulfilled desires will turn into frustration.

So here is a person. He is having some kind of desire. A man wants a woman. So there are some women going, and then if the saṅga is not there, it won't become big. So what is the law? Any desire will increase exponentially if there is an object near them. Understand? If there is no object, then it will be fulfilled only by normal desire.

But that is why he says man should not mix too much with woman, woman should not mix with man. Lord Krishna used to warn one devotee: "Sādhu, sādhavī, if you are an aspirant, don't mix with the opposite sex." Why? Because you have not conquered.

And he used to say, "You are a very highly developed person." He used to say about others. And later on, we come to know he had fallen.

The Danger of Rationalization

So what is the problem? The problem is—there was one woman. She said, "I love this boy. I look upon this boy as Gopāla—small Bālakṛṣṇa." So it may be alright; she may be pure. But at what moment will this particular person's desire turn into the wrong type of desire? Saṅgāt.

That is the meaning of association. That is why he said dusanga. What is the definition we gave to dusanga? It leads us away from God. Yes. Anything that brings us away from God is dusanga. Anything that takes us towards God is satsanga. So we have to judge what saṅga it is by the effect.

The True Criterion of Spiritual Progress

And this is the true method of progressing in spiritual life. Many people, you know, say, "I am doing so much japa. I am reading so many books. I have been initiated for so many years." There is no criteria at all. The criterion is this: Are you growing in three areas? Are you becoming more sat? Are you becoming more cit? And are you becoming more ānanda?

Is your ānanda growing? And the more we grow in ānanda, the less we desire anything worldly. Because we don't really desire any worldly object. We desire any worldly object—you know, it is like one of our Swamis used to give the example of sugarcane.

In the previous times, we buy one stick like that. For one anna, he will give this much. So you have to do a lot of exercise. So after chewing, what do you do? You don't swallow it. You throw it away.

So every object, imagine, is like sugarcane. It gives you rasa, sweetness, pleasure. Once that pleasure is extracted, it is thrown away. For the sake of the pleasure, an object is loved. For the sake of the object, nobody loves. This is the truth. Everybody loves only oneself. Everybody loves happiness. And whatever gives happiness, we love that object until it doesn't give any longer. This is the truth.

So many Muslims, you know, they have cows. So long as they are giving milk, they keep it. The moment they stop giving, send them to the butcher. The whole West is like that. So this saṅgāt—that is, it becomes like an ocean. That's why we have to avoid it.

The Transformation of Perception

How long? There is a period when we get so much joy from God that we don't need anything else. And then saṅgāt also turns very interesting. When a person reaches a certain stage, the very object is now looked upon as God.

He says in the beginning he says for a man, avoid woman. But this is only to escape from the influence. But after some time, if you go on hating, then you will not progress in life. You have to look upon every woman as Divine Mother. Why? Because every object in this world is what? Brahman.

Twice he said in the Gītā: māyāṃ tu prakṛtiṃ viddhi—"Who can cross over this Māyā? Who can escape this Māyā? Who can get out of this Māyā?"

So there are only two objects in this world: Māyā and something outside Māyā. Who is outside Māyā? God. This is only for ignorant people. For knowing people, it is the same God who is now, for our eyes, appearing as mind.

The Story of Brahmānanda

Oh, there was a very interesting incident. Brahmānanda in the company of children used to be like a child. So he used to—mostly he used to live in Balaram Babu's house. There were so many small children, and he will play with them; he becomes like a child.

So one day they were playing. There was a small child, four-five years old boy. So suddenly, this Brahmānanda, president of the Ramakrishna Math, with a tiger's mask, he crawled and jumped near the boy like that. All the children, they cried and then ran. One small child could not run. He was petrified.

On one side he was having fear. On the other side, he knew—he could see the whole body and other things: "You are Mahārāj!" Then he took off the mask, took the child on his lap, and started consoling.

So Mahārāj was very humorous. He said—Balaram Babu's granddaughter used to live in that Balaram Babu's house.

After I took sannyāsa in 1973, I was there for two months—best period in my life. Because there was no cooking arrangement, so we used to eat at mother's house. Mother's house food is prasād. So early morning I go there, have breakfast. Then at twelve o'clock, go there, have lunch. You know mother's house? Yes. And only evening tea I never used to go. We prepare some tea, and night food. It's only five minutes from Balaram Babu's house, just walking, and in those days traffic was not very busy.

So we used to go there. Mahārāj was staying there, and Balaram Babu's granddaughter was there. She was an old woman. And one night she dreamt that she was feeding Mahārāj. So she wanted to fulfill the desire. So she invited Mahārāj.

And you know, Bengal—one thing very good about Bengal: at least there will be seven, eight items minimum. Three, four varieties of sweets, and other things they're not counted. Main items themselves. She fed him to her heart's content, and he could eat. So he also was very happy.

So food was over; he has to come back. Then there was a small girl, granddaughter of that woman, and he called: "You ask your granny to dream a little more frequently." That means invite me and feed me more.

So that is the type of place there—enjoying.

Crossing Over Māyā

So who can cross over Māyā? He who gives up company. What company? Earlier he said satsanga has to be cultivated, dusanga only to be given up. So he who gives up saṅga—what saṅga? That which obstructs our spiritual progress.

He who serves a great soul—with the help of a great soul, many people have crossed over and attained Brahmajñāna. One of the brightest examples is Swami Nirvāṇānanda. He was serving Brahmānanda Mahārāj. Sujit Mahārāj. He was a brahmacārī.

He was serving Brahmānanda. Even Mahārāj used to get up at three o'clock, and he used to—there were no attached bathrooms. We had to walk a little. And winter season, it could be very cold. So when he returns, warm water has to be ready for bath. So this devotee has to get up one hour earlier, prepare the water, everything. And he would be standing.

What Mahārāj does sometimes—while going, he gives a slap. And he was quite powerful, painful. No reason. Early morning, what reason is there? That poor fellow, what can he do? He is his own disciple. Nowadays, disciples are not like that. They will give two slaps back.

So like that, many times he got slaps. Then he scolds also, for no reason. Many years passed. Mahārāj passed away in 1920. Then he got the vision: "My child, you have served me well. I bless you. You will have Brahmajñāna."

For a few slaps, Brahmajñāna could be obtained. If we know, then all of us will be competing: "Who will be the first to get this slap?"

So mahāpuruṣa-sevayā yogi—anybody who serves a mahāpuruṣa, all his results will come to him.

The Transfer of Karma

But it is also said something very interesting: that, you know, every saint has a past. So he will be doing his sādhana. There will be puṇya, there will be pāpa. That is continuously, it will be there. Then what happens? After some time, he gets Brahmajñāna. Now he becomes jīvanmukta. Jīvanmukta has nothing to do with puṇya-pāpa. Because it is like, you know, leaving the house and going away.

So who gets the puṇya, who gets the pāpa? Because that has to be exhausted; it won't go like that. So the persons who criticize him will get all the pāpa, and the persons who serve him will get all the puṇya. So now you decide what you want to do.

So if somebody really serves a great soul, what will be the result? He becomes completely free of the idea that something belongs to me. It goes.

Giving Up "Mine-ness" (Mamatā)

So first, with regard to external objects: "my house." Śrī Ramakrishna used to scold Madanagopāla. He was, you know, a greedy fellow, and also he was lowly. So once, unfortunately, he took Śrī Ramakrishna with him to his estate. And it was rented out—whole landed property—to the local farmers.

And there was drought, and they could not grow anything. And this fellow went to collect the annual rent. Śrī Ramakrishna said, "How could you have the heart? There was no rain, and their children are starving, and you want to squeeze their blood? This is not your property. This is Divine Mother's property. She made you a trustee. So now you spend some money. Feed them well, and give some oil for their head, and one piece of cloth to everybody."

He did not like it. But unfortunately, he chose Śrī Ramakrishna as guru. Now guru cannot be disobeyed. So he gave. Anyway, he will get the result.

The point is that everything that we possess has been given by God. According to our karma-phala, he gives. According to karma-phala, he takes away. Who gave so much property to Duryodhana? God. Who took it away? God only.

The Meaning of "I" and "Mine"

So nirmama—mama means "mine." It's a very beautiful word. If that word "mine" was removed, then who am I?

So anything that is mine—my father, my mother, my husband, my children, my house, my property—everything, if you say "not mine, not mine." That is why the word "mine" is a real mine. Yes. The moment you step, you are blasted.

Then what remains? What is the point we are discussing? There would be this "I" and "mine." Now you separate "I" and "mine." Who am I? Is this me, or is this my body? Body.

That's what we say. Always we don't say "me." Sometimes we say "my stomach, my teeth have to be extracted." But nobody says "I have to be extracted. My teeth have to be extracted. My head has to be cured."

So we are using both "me" as well as "mine." So anything "mine" is not me. If anybody says, "Nothing—whatever I used to call mine is not mine," then what would be the "I" there? Only pure "I." My body, my mind—you remove both body and mind. What remains? And that "I" cannot be called a bound "I." It is completely free. What is it that binds us? Body and mind. Nothing else.

The Three Secrets of Spiritual Practice

So three secrets: First, you give up dusanga. Then cultivate satsanga. Part of the satsanga is you must serve somebody, because there is no better inspiration and guidance than serving a real great person. Usually that could be our guru.

But in Ramakrishna Mission, guru is not possible because the guru stays in Himālaya or sometimes here and there, and he's going around and initiating thousands and lakhs. One of our previous presidents had three lakh disciples. There were others also. Now how is it possible for the disciples to have company of such a guru? At best, you can have darshan.

So this is the problem that we have got. So what should we do? Find out where you are. Who is called a śikṣā-guru? Find out a śikṣā-guru who really inspires you, and elect him as your śikṣā-guru. So mantra-guru not available—śikṣā-guru, yes. That is up to you. From whomsoever you are getting inspiration, whose life you consider as an ideal life, you be nearer to that person. Then you consider that person as your guru, and then try to serve.

Serving means—doesn't mean you always have to massage his feet or serve food. Serving really means that whatever he instructs you, put into practice. That is called real service. So if you do that, the result is he becomes completely free.

The Importance of Solitude (Vivikta-sthānam)

Certain further helps and supports: What is it? Vivikta-sthānam. This is what Śrī Ramakrishna says—third commandment: "Now and then go into nirjana-sthānam, solitary place, and then call upon God even with more yearning, more longing."

So that is called vivikta, which means a solitary place. Then what is a solitary place? Śrī Ramakrishna's words are very, very useful words: nirjana. What is nirjana? Jana means "with people." It is not the people that is our problem. The problem is our dependency upon them.

The Three Types of Relationships

So with regard to every person, we have got only three attitudes. If you analyze your relationship with any person in this world, there are three relationships: I love this person, I don't like this person, and neutral.

All the three are dangerous for a spiritual person. Neither you should love nor you should hate, because what happens? Both will affect our mind. If you love, your mind is going towards that person. And if you hate, it is going even nearer to that person, because you are thinking of that person more.

That's why if somebody came and reported to Śrī Ramakrishna, "Such and such person is criticizing you," Śrī Ramakrishna was very happy: "Oh, he is thinking of me only!"

Yes. So if somebody criticizes you, you should be very happy. In this world, nobody cares for anyone. At least one person—he is meditating upon you. There was Mahendralāl Sarkar.

The Story of Dr. Mahendralāl Sarkar

In our belief, he always argued with Śrī Ramakrishna. So M used to go to him. And one day M went, and then the doctor invariably inquires, "How is Śrī Ramakrishna Paramahaṃsa?" Then the doctor was asking, "Today morning at three o'clock, it was very droughty, so all the windows were closed around Śrī Ramakrishna."

This news was reported to Śrī Ramakrishna by M. Śrī Ramakrishna says, "See, I cannot suggest to him to meditate upon me, but anyway he is doing it. Because he is thinking, 'Two o'clock—the man is suffering. If the windows are open, cold air will come and he will suffer.' What else is meditation? Thinking of a person unbrokenely is called meditation. He is only thinking of me."

So yo vivikta-sthānam, nirjana. What is nirjana? That is a place where there is the least amount of disturbance—first of all, noise, etc. Secondly, the more important point is not the external condition but the internal condition: "I have no one to call my own. Nobody really in this world can really help me."

This is the truth. Nobody can sleep for you. Nobody can breathe for you. Nobody can eat for you. Nobody can take medication for you. And much less, nobody can die for you.

So only God—that feeling: "In this world, only one being is there who is mine." That is called God. To cultivate that feeling is called vivikta-sthānam.

The Practice of Solitude

Then loka-bandham unmodayate—that a person in a solitary place should meditate and say, "I came alone, and I have to go alone. Nobody will come with me." If he meditates, what happens? Loka-bandham—attachment towards loka means what? It could be a person, it could be an object. You know, a person can be attached to property, attached to house.

I mean, Puruṣhottamāndajī used to tell me about it. There was this rich man. He worked very hard and became rich, and he constructed a big house. In those days, the houses will have big beams—very huge beams. When he was made to lie down on his deathbed, he was looking... After a few minutes, he will die. He is looking: "How can I leave these big beams and go?" Because he worked very hard and developed attachment.

You know, we also develop like that. Even Swamis develop like that. You see, here is a Swami—very efficient. And he has developed all these things, huge things. And everybody knows his name. Suppose the headquarters says, "Now you better go to some other place." Then he feels the wrench because he has already developed attachment to the local people, local food and familiarity, especially some devotees, you know. And they start weeping also.

But they will do the same for the next Swami also. The devotees are impartial, you know. First, we know this Swami is going. After some time, you know, another Swami is coming. They develop attachment to the new Swami. But the Swami should not develop attachment.

That is why sometimes we have attachment even to guru: "How can I live without this guru?".

Closing Prayer

ॐ जननीं सारदां देवीं रामकृष्णं जगदगुरुम पादपद्मे तयो: श्रित्वा प्रणमामि मुहुर्मुहु :

Om Jananim Saradam devim Ramakrishnam jagadgurum Padapadme tayoh shritva pranamami muhurmuhuh.