Gospel of Sri Ramakrishna Lecture 027 on 19-January-2021

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Om Jananim Sharadam Devim Ramakrishnam Jagadgurum Pada Padme Tayo Shritva Pranamami Mohur Moho In our last class, we had been discussing about the duties of a householder. We have a special kind of scriptures, they are called Dharmashastras. The purpose of these Dharmashastras is to discuss in quite considerable details what are the specific duties of four Varnas. Varna means castes. Let us always remember caste is not a matter of birth but Guna and Karma. Either Sattva Guna or Rajya Guna or Tamo Guna is prevailing, dominant. Accordingly, a person is either a Brahmana, less Sattva Guna, more of Rajas, Kshatriya and less of Rajya Guna, a little bit more of Tamo Guna and more Tamo Guna. That is how the four castes have been divided. But at the same time, Hindu scriptures also recognize a baby, a young person, an old person and a householder and a monk. All have their respective duties and society will be most congenial. That which promotes what is called universal brotherhood and more of spiritual growth. Only when each one behaves according to the particular station and age, caste, etc. This is one of the most important discoveries in the religious development of any religion in this world. So these Dharmasastras are many, many. And Swami Vivekananda was of the opinion that every age requires specifically someone to study the society and formulate appropriate mode or models of behavior because society is constantly in a flux. It is changing. Simple example would be what was even 100 years back true when the society everywhere in the West, it was divided into two classes, the upper class and the lower class. And we know what horrors they visited upon the lower class subjects. In Hindu society, the fall of India from such a glorious high state was absolutely due to this fall from the respective duties. In the way that upper caste locked down everybody and themselves became frogs in the well. Neither they develop nor do they allow others to develop and as a result of that, there is terrific suffering both for the perpetrators as well as those who are victims. And the heartfelt cry of these victims reached the throne of the compassionate Lord and he came to India, to Tibet, to many other countries in the form of foreign occupation. That is a spiritual way of looking at the past event, at history. Let us remember, for a good Hindu, history is always his, means God's story, not human will. Whether we will or not will, it is only God's will which prevails all the time. This has been so beautifully declared in the Bhagavad Gita. The Lord sitting in the hearts of everybody makes every creature a puppet and then makes this whole world drama and always his will is only good. So what does a Dharmashastra has to say? We have to be a willing, joyful companions to the divine actor and we must fulfil our prospective roles, man, woman, child, old man, Brahmin, Shudra, whatever it is. So in the Gospel also, we get several sections, advice to householders and that had been the special province of these Dharmashastras. There have been many, I will just mention a few. The most famous of these is Manu Dharmashastra. Then we have also Apastamba Dharmashastra, then Gautama Dharmashastra, Yajnavalika Dharmashastra, empty number of Dharmashastras according to the prevailing condition of the society and also at different times of history. And Swami Vekaranda expressly stated to Sharad Chandra Chakravarti, his disciple in his conversations, a new Dharmashastra had to be brought out. Why? Because there are no four castes nowadays. No one is a Brahmana, no one is a Shudra. Shudras are CEOs and Brahmanas are what we call shoe polishers nowadays or they may be serving in restaurants as cooks, waiters, servers, etc. Then inter-racial, inter-religious, inter-linguistic marriages are taking place. Because of this advanced system of education, foreigners are coming to every country. Our countrymen can be found everywhere in the Europe, in America, in Canada and in Africa, everywhere. So there is a great flux of mixture of races, marriages, therefore children, therefore a new code of conduct had to be written and unfortunately so far we have not got anything. But here are the guidelines from Sri Ramakrishna, following whom Swami Vekaranda had formulated in his Karma Yoga. Specifically, there is one great book and that actually belongs to Tantric literature. It is called Maha Nirvana Tantra and Swami Vekaranda had taken the essential points of that. So as I mentioned Manusmriti is a law book of Sanatana Dharma. Hinduism, let us always remember, it is called Sanatana Dharma. Why is it called Sanatana Dharma? Eternal religion. What does eternal religion mean? What about Christianity? What about Islam? What about Buddhism? Swami Vekaranda said, what is eternal religion? That which speaks exclusively the true nature of every being and the goal of life and the way to manifest that goal of life. This is the prime subject matter of especially Hindu scriptures. They talk extensively and exclusively only about these three truths. Tattva, Prushartha and Hitha. But at the same time, they will also talk about changing times. We had a very great orator blessed by Swami Akhandananda, Swami Shivanandaji and other direct disciples. His name was Swami Ranganathanandaji Maharaj and he had given extensive lectures which have been published. The beautiful title, Eternal Values for a Changing Society. Eternal values, values never change but society ever undergoes changes. So every time an avatar comes, he upholds these eternal values but also integrates them with what is called within the framework of the changing society and that should be our goal and this gospel of Sri Ramakrishna gives us that guidelines. So this Maha Nirvana Tantra is also one of the most or best of the tantric scriptures and if we study that book and the gospel of Sri Ramakrishna, really speaking we do not get anything much different excepting the language. Okay, here Swami Vivekananda has taken but I have taken a few more from this Maha Nirvana Tantra and here are certain very memorable pointers. Nowadays, everybody wants to get married. A married person is called a householder. A householder is really not a person who is married. A householder is a person who thinks he is the body and identifies himself with his body, with the mind, with the external world and tries to squeeze as much of benefit as possible and that is why he is called a householder. House means here, this Deha, what is called Navadwara Pura Dehi in this nine-doored city and this is the greatest house. So comparatively many monasteries have got the biggest houses and the sannyasins live there. If a householder is a person who lives in a house, then these monks are the biggest householders in the whole world. So here are some beautiful points. A man becomes a householder the moment he is born. What a marvelous truth. How come? Because as soon as a baby is born, he cries, I am hungry, I am cold, I want consolation, I want warmth, I want somebody to protect me. Protect me means what? Protect the body, hunger to the body, thirst to the body, suffering from mosquitoes and insects etc. body, helplessness of the body. So to identify with the body is called a householder. But by Samskara, such a baby enters upon any of the other stages of life but of course in a graduated manner. First a student, then a married person, then a semi-retired person, lastly a person who surrendered completely to the values of life. Let me put it Brahmacharya Ashrama, Garhast Ashrama, Panaprastha Ashrama and Sannyas Ashrama. But we have to understand them in the proper light. What does it mean? Every stage of growth is every stage of growth in progress in spiritual ladder. So if we take a ladder with four steps, so student's life, married life, semi-retired life and a mature life. A sannyasi I consider is a person who is completely mature, not a particular code of dress which is usually ochre or yellow for Buddhist monks. That is just to point to the society not only as a role model but also to respect them and they will be reminders for us. But really speaking all these are stages of spiritual consciousness. When a person is traveling in life from a lower truth to a higher truth, each stage must represent and must fulfill a particular stage of life. So let me rephrase it in this way. A student's duty is to learn what is the goal of life and what is the truth. And what is the way to manifest his own true nature. And then he must become a householder. Every monk in this life must have been a householder. Nobody is fallen from the sky as a sannyasin or as a great renouncer. That is impossible. It's all a matter of growth. So a student he enters into the stage of whatever he learned to experiment. And experimentation should involve both horizontal and vertical growth. Horizontal growth means he must identify himself with the larger whole beginning with the parents, then with the teachers, then with wife, husband, children, relatives, friends, village, country, world, living, non-living, everything. This process of gradually identifying oneself with the larger whole and then growing vertically towards his own true nature. This is called householder's life. And then if he has succeeded in it, and remember this is not a question of merely a counting of the years, passing years, not counting of the age, but maturity of the mind. When a person has sufficiently identified, and this identification is called morality. Swami Vivekananda defined morality as identifying oneself with the other. In English language, this is called putting oneself in the shoes of the other. And the whole of morality can be squeezed into very simple words. As I mentioned earlier, a young man once came to a rabbi. A rabbi is a Jewish priest and asked him, I don't have time. Can you tell me the essence of what is Judaism? And the teacher also said, I don't also have time because it is so vast, but you will understand with simple words. Do unto others what you wish others to do unto you. And if you understood this, you understood Judaism and the rest is commentary. I can add to this, if we understand that, a whole of morality of every human being can be understood. We don't need to go through Manu or Gautama or Apastamba or Yajnavalkya or Raghunandana, Dharma Shastras or even through the Gospel of Sri Ramakrishna. So to put oneself and identify oneself with the other is the essence of morality. Then when we put ourselves in that position, then we feel that the other is not there, only I am there and everybody wants wholehearted prayer is Asatoma Sadgamaya, lead me from the unreal to the real. Tamasoma Jatirgamaya, lead me from darkness to light, from ignorance to knowledge, true knowledge and lead me from death to immortality. Lead me from suffering to freedom from all sorts of sufferings which are classified into threefold. They are what is called Adhyatmika, Adhibhautika and Adhidaivika. Simply speaking, bodily sufferings, sufferings of the mind otherwise called mental sufferings and then what we call spiritual suffering. So this is the goal of life, knowingly or unknowingly we are all traveling only towards that. So here is the essence of that, that as soon as a person is born, he becomes a householder and parents, society and experience. These three lead into what we call Samskaras, learning lesson. We gradually eliminate our mistakes, learn our lessons and expand ourselves. So this is called growth and slowly from student learning stage to experimental stage and then we understand that I am a lone traveler. What is life? It is a journey from what is called loneliness oneself to God. That is what we have to understand. So what is the point I have made? There is no escape for any one of us. All of us fall into one of these four stages. Next point that just because you find a sannyasi externally and a householder married person or nowadays even unmarried householders are there. They are doing regular jobs, earning money but they are no less than householders but there are also some no less than what is called an all-renouncing monks but mentally. Many of our devotees are highly developed spiritual souls, dedicated to spiritual life, to God but in the name of externally, outwardly they are only as devotees. They are there with their parents or brothers or sisters but silently struggling, rendering service to the people. Many are there especially following the gospel of Shri Ramakrishna. I would say millions are there really speaking but we have to give a bit of space and say there are many who are developed and many other are struggling souls but we have to understand it. So next point is every point in space of life is an opportunity for us to grow towards our goal and here we have to remember so that we are all standing or lying or sitting on the ladder of what we call an escalator and that is what biologists call evolution. We are all standing or sitting or lying on an escalator evolutionary scale whether we will or not will. Nature will take us towards our destination but if we are wise and then if we cooperate and then stretch our hand to receive the help nature is going to help tell us and this covid situation is one of the bright examples how we can learn many lessons from this. Slowly we will be able to progress but in everybody's life a time will come the divinity will not just be kept silent it will be forced to come out. So every minute, every day is a new opportunity for us to move forward. With this preliminary introduction let us read what Swami Vivekananda had to tell. A householder should be devoted to God. This is a commandment. This is not a just a kind of choice that is given what J Krishnamurthy used to call a choiceless choice. Everybody whether it is a baby or it is a an old man we all must be devoted to God and sometimes I have given this definition. Let me repeat it because I think it's a long time back since I have given this definition. Some people say we don't believe in God and we don't believe in spiritual life but what do you believe in? If we analyze if anybody says I want to be happy he is in simple words telling I believe in happiness and I believe I can achieve tremendous amount of happiness and I have to strive for that and in other words he's telling that's why Vedanta gives a name of God is Ananda, Sachidananda. Anybody says I want to live long time healthy life and acquire more knowledge or wisdom and I want to be more and more still more happy in life he is in other words telling I believe in God I believe in spiritual life and nowadays many psychological books are coming and one such beautiful book recently because of a devotee I came across is the laws of human nature. It's a beautiful book and if we even become aware of the law of human nature and it is as good as becoming spiritual albeit not using the words and also I mentioned earlier when we come across books by great social psychologists like Jung or Eric Fromm they don't very often use the word spirituality but they're talking nothing but the potential of every living creature and how to attain it. The whole of psychology is divided only how to help man from committing mistakes which humanity has made in the past and we are making even now but if we can study these books wonderful hints are brought to the surface so that we can become aware but like any other scripture we have to study we have to mull over it we have to understand we have to make a will that I am going to put them into practice and definitely will progress in life so Swami Vivekananda and what does it mean not Swami Vivekananda. He has taken merely from the Maha Nirvana Tantra and other Dharma Shastras. Why did he take? Because he agrees completely that this is the only way to God in fact these are the eternal values whatever be the time of the society the householder should be devoted to God the knowledge of God should be his goal of life yet he must work constantly perform all his duties he must give up the fruits of his actions to God he must give up his fruits of actions to God I will just make a light of this matter with a beautiful story what does it mean giving up the fruits to God a baby is there and somebody brings him a bag full of chocolates and the baby immediately hands over the bag to his mother oh you are such a wise guy and you are renouncing everything no sir if the baby were to speak in good language he will tell I am a wise guy as you mentioned and I am giving for safe deposit and then you know this mother keeps this bag and you know what happens this bag will be excess bag always it will be full even if I take hundred times all the chocolates you have given me every day every day it becomes filled up with all the these things so the child knows not only my mother will not take it but she will fill it up because she loves me and offering everything to God is like that there is a beautiful quotation in the gospel it is mentioned whatever we offer to God and we will get a thousand fold I would say not a thousand fold but a billion fold why because I'll illustrate it because God's hands are too big and how big infinite infinitely big so even if he wants to give small it is impossible for him to give anything small but if we have got small hands the rest will spill over and we won't be able to retain all sadhana is meant only for it so Shri Ramakrishna is mentioning in Mahabharata there is there was an incident Bhima wanted to offer all his past all his karma both good and bad to Bhagavan Krishna and he was about to say oh Krishna whatever punya I have earned here it is I am offering it to you and next sentence oh Krishna whatever papa immediately Yudhishthira rushed and put his hand shut the mouth of Bhima and then Yudhishthira was saying Bhima don't offer don't say that I am offering papa then Ramakrishna is explaining what Yudhishthira explained to Bhimasena was telling whatever punya you have done whatever you offer to Krishna it comes back to us a thousand fold but if you offer punya of course thousand fold punya will come and if you offer papa that also will come a thousand fold so we only have to offer what is punya keep yourself because your suffering will be much much less anyway it is a funny story I'll tell you now a good story there was a man he's a householder he had a six seven years old boy he used to go to the shop to buy groceries etc and usually used to go to one person who would give him goodies and extra also at a very reasonable price so this man will not go to anybody else it was summer season and there were this I don't know what it is called in English some kind of berries inside there's a big seed and a thin skin and in between some sour pulp will be there I think you will understand it and the cart loads up these fruits have come sometimes this gentleman used to take his son also along with him and usually the shopkeeper used to give something extra for this boy so that time he offered my boy there are these berries take but the boy was steadfastly looking at the berries but not stretching his hands two three times the householder the shopkeeper he repeated thinking the boy is shy but then no he would be looking at them but he would not be stretching his hand the shopkeeper thought maybe the boy is very shy so he himself took in his hands the berries and immediately the boy stretched his shirt to hold all those berries and then happily the father and son were returning and the father who knew his son better than anybody said you rascal when the shopkeeper offered you to take why did you not take and the boy looked up with smiling face and said dad don't you understand his hands are much bigger than my hands so if we offer everything to God he is not going to take a share he is going to return them like that akshaya patra plenty this is the understanding Swami Vivekananda continues it's the most difficult thing in this world to work and not care for the result to help a man and never think that he ought to be grateful to do some good work and at the same time never look to see whether it brings you name or fame or nothing at all even the most errant coward becomes brave when the world praises him a fool can do heroic deeds do good without caring for the approbation of his fellow men it is indeed the highest sacrifice man can perform so why this foolish fellow or a coward do these heroic deeds because he he is expecting great praise and he wants to keep up his Olympic title he doesn't want to be known as a coward or even the most miserly fellow is prepared to give some amount of money if it brings him name fame and power appreciation etc but what Swamiji is hinting taking the help of this Maha Nirvana Tantra is we must do it only for pleasing God that means if God is pleased Dharma Artha Kama Moksha everything will come there's a beautiful song composed by Ram Prasad I think in the gospel oh mind let us go for a walk to the wish-fulfilling tree called Kali and there under the tree gather the four fruits of life Dharma Artha Kama and Moksha here is the most marvelous song mother Kali is like that Kalpataru tree how many fruits this particular tree gives four Dharma Artha Kama and Moksha and every Hindu knows what these four are these are called four Purush Arthas and gradually person grows in wisdom and in health both physical and mental and also in happiness and this growth is what is called evolutionary progress and a householder's life is a step towards that travel so Swamiji continues the great duty of the householder is to earn a living but he must take care that he doesn't do it by telling lies or by cheating or by robbing others and he must remember that his life is for the service of God and the poor now one more thing is added two things in fact but for that a house every householder must remember it his life as a householder is for the service of the others so he should never tell lies he should not cheat anybody why this is the theory of law of karma whatever negative thing we do it comes back to us and we will have to suffer no man willingly wants to have suffering but unknowingly unconsciously and by cleverness many people think nobody knows i am robbing nobody knows i am cheating i will get karmaphala stupid fellow doesn't know how much he has to pay with compound interest until he learns his lesson that God is always watching us and it is not possible so next point Swamiji makes serving God means serving the poor why simple fact God is infinite what can you serve in fact what you call giving to God is only given by God and you are offering to God what he had offered is only to show our gratitude to God that's why in the third chapter of the Bhagavad Gita we get that the Devatas and the Manushyas the Gods and human beings the Gods give you every good that you require in your turn so you will have to offer them as merely to show oh Gods we are very grateful to you whatever we have is nothing but what you have graciously bestowed upon us and this is the highest truth knowing that mother and father are the visible representatives of God the householder always and by all means must please them if the mother is pleased and the father God is pleased with the man that child is really a good child who never speaks harsh words to his parents so much of thing is there for us to understand sometimes sometimes most times our parents are foolish people they are not wise people they may be old but not certainly wise and yet every child must never speak harshly they can point out the truth but if the parents are displeased then Gods are displeased not only that this is a big spiritual lesson we have to learn if we can respect our father and mother and that is how we grow in learning that particular lesson we have to respect everybody because everybody is a potentially a God even a dog even a donkey that's why Sri Ramakrishna one day was returning from Panchavati and he saw a dog sitting on its haunches on the way and Sri Ramakrishna stood with folded hands later on he said I do not know mother has come in this forum she wants to tell me something I want to learn in fact we can learn greatest lesson from dogs what is the greatest lesson he is the most faithful creature in the whole world you just give a little bit of food even the third class food and it will remain forever grateful learn grateful gratefulness from these animals whether they are horses or dogs before parents one must not utter jokes must not show restlessness must not show anger or temper before mother or father a child must bow down low and stand up in their presence and must not take a seat until they order him to sit if the householder has food and drink and cloths without first seeing that his mother and father his children his wife and the poor are supplied he is committing a sin the mother and the father are the causes of this body so a man must undergo a thousand troubles in order to do good to them this is the one of the commandments in the the one of the ten commandments I call it of every hindu what is the first commandment satyam vadha speak truth always hold on to truthfulness satyameva jayate nanrutham satyena pantha vidhataha devayanaha in the munda kopanishad we have seen and the second thing that we have to learn that dharma dharmam chara always practice dharma what is truthfulness that thinking and speech and deed must be become integrated not thinking one thing speaking another thing and doing entirely different thing the honesty must be visible in our faces and in siram krishna and kshudiram anybody can understand by seeing their faces what they really mean okay that is the first thing then what is the next svadhyayan mahapramadaha do not neglect study of the scriptures study of the lives of great saints study of any book that can improve help us guide us inspire us our life and that is called svadhyaya svadhyaya also means constantly objectify oneself study if i am committing some mistakes i should cultivate a habit of avoiding them lessening them gradually and if i do not have good qualities i must cultivate them and what faults i have and what good qualities i need to develop and i have a scope which can be accomplished only through what we call objectification study of one's own self that was what holy mother said stop finding fault with others and start finding fault with one's own self so parents matru devobhava pitru devobhava acharya devobhava aditi devobhava these are part of the commandments for entire humanity not for me because vedas tell only for hindus okay here let me tell you beautiful incident that happened in the life of swami akhandanandaji swami akhandanandaji was wandering and in north india he came across a what is called ayurveda great ayurveda doctor and that person took great liking to swami akhandanandaji kept him in his house and then akhandanandaji remember they were all great observers we all must become great observers because the faculty of observation not only points out other people's faults but even better it also finds out the great virtues in other people so that we can appreciate them not only look at their faults but even after being aware of the faults we should be able to discount them see only their good qualities but at the same time it will also give us the greatest opportunity in fact the only opportunity where we can find our own faults and at the same time the potential it is of good qualities we have and our duty it is to develop this good side of positive side of ours so akhandanandaji was there and then there was a very curious thing i can never understand how a hindu should behave like that in that family the mother will be kept in a corner like a beggar and the last person and the thrown out food practically cold and almost rejected food will be given in a broken vessel to the mother and i cannot imagine how a hindu can ever has from where has he learned this one but anyway in this particular family and that community that thing was there immediately he called the sethji and said you are committing a grave error mother and father of course this gentleman did not have father means he has passed away every hindu our vedas tell us through upanishads dharmashastras puranas tantras etc that parents are to be honored like gods so every day as soon as you get up you bow down in front of your mother and then you you present her with a rupee coin and the best of the food first should be served to your mother this is the only way to for yourself to progress in life and he considered that gentleman considered swami akhandanandji practically as a guru though he did not take initiation so like a siksha guru from next day he started bowing down to the mother and such a tremendous change had come in his life then what happened the more days were passing the more he was falling he was his admiration his devotion and his appreciation to the swami was growing by leaps and bounds and swami narrated and he was a wonderful storyteller swami akhandananda by the way today is the birthday of swami shardanandji maharaj just to remind to convey our salutations and to seek his blessings sriram krishna's blessings can come only through the blessings of these his gurubhai's direct disciples of sriram krishna so akhandanandji narrated the divine life of sriram krishna and he knew what he was talking about shardanandji's devotion to sriram krishna went on growing and growing and akhandanandji mentioned that swami vekananda felt very bad that he could not construct a temple for sriram krishna and this shardanandji heard it and then he said swamiji i wish you stay with me forever i will build a temple for sriram krishna he was such a great soul very wealthy person also of course the family members started observing what was happening they said ji slowly falling into the hypnotism maya of this swami and they were frightened all his wealth will be given to this sanyasi and he must be done away with so swami akhandanandji was very fond of coffee early morning he would drink a strong cup of coffee that was you can say a kind of addiction and these family members consulted among themselves and they put some poison there and swami akhandanandji observed that a kind of oily substance was floating on that and then he did not know of course no sanyasi would ever suspect the house where he is staying the members will do away he could not see what is the cause for that i am not robbing i am not telling them to give me money but he could not understand but as a result of this drinking that coffee started terrible purging and then there was another person who was a great admirer of swami akhandanandji and this akhandanandji was told by him secretly swami i have heard rumors these family members are trying to kill you and they have put this poison swami of course first at first could not believe it same thing of course happened to swami vekaranda in america somebody wanted to do away with him they put poison of course sri ram krishna appeared there and then warned him not to drink that same thing coffee and here sri ram krishna came in the form of this another admirer and swami akhandananda at first could not believe it then second day even more purging third day then third day or fourth day swami akhandananda he took that cup of coffee ran all the way to that other person who warned him and then showed him and then that other person said do you see this floating oily thing this is the powder of the what is called our crotons that we grow in front of our houses the croton seed is highly poisonous and it creates this dairy and then in no time the person will die out of weakness then the person akhandanandaji bid goodbye to the sadji and then shifted his residence to that other admirer but the sadji he was so disconsolate swami you are leaving me and going away and akhandanandaji could not reveal the truth your family members are trying to kill me he said no no the other man also wants to me to be there i have to satisfy both etc i will just mention the greatness of the sadji this sadji was one of the greatest ayurvedic physicians he was very famous there and he had a kind of intuition one day akhandanandaji saw a young man was brought to him in a state of madness and he was kept on the very bed of this sadji where he used to sleep this sadji he was very wealthy person so his bed mattress everything the first class what you call very luxurious royal bed like and this young man was there and this sadji got some beautiful young woman they were messaging this young man with some kind of oil and the sadji was studying our ancient ayurvedic textbooks later on swami akhandanandaji he was very thirsty for any kind of knowledge and so he asked him what is this man ailing from and then sadji explained this man is suffering from nymphomania mania means madness nympho means uncontrollable lust he wants to enjoy as many women as possible and this is a particular type of madness and many people are suffering from it thinking that they are highly they are gifted because they are like the modern casanovas so this person in the ancient ayurvedic text is mentioned he should be brought he should be made to lie on the softest of the pleasant luxurious bed and then beautiful young woman have to give him oil message with a particular type of oil and then slowly he will be cured of this it is actually a disease if it is not cured a man will die of it and i have heard some cases swami yatri swamji came across such cases in germany i'm not going to dwell upon it this sadji is greatness swami akhandanandaji is mentioning without taking any fee and sacrificing his own money his own comforts he was giving to patients all sorts of treatments if they could afford they will pay him something but if either they can't afford or they say we can't afford he would not bother to inquire into it and every day he would distribute alms to poor people such noble qualities were manifested in that sadji naturally so every sadhu will not be attracted to every householder there is a law of attraction is there i was mentioning to so how swami akhandanandaji taught how every hindu should respect his mother and father anyway as i mentioned i do not know how this thing happened to a born hindu how that region or that community has misunderstood this ancient hindu dharma shastra it is god alone knows maybe there are some communities even today like that but this is what is happening in today's life many many children of course i have to say many children they're very good but they are somewhere far away and father and mother very often like the western culture what is happening they are lonely and they long for their children but they can't say anything many parents are kicked out thrown neglected and they prefer to die rather than to be alive and i have heard some very piteous cases where children they abuse their parents i have seen some persons who also bet a one lady who used to beat when i was young her own father old father and that old person had no person to complain about he had to put up he will be given some hard food etc anyway this is a great lesson for us all to listen if whatever best we can do under the circumstances we have to do then what is the lesson about duty to his wife i am taking time but this is how we have to grow in spiritual life our study of the gospel of sri ram krishna is not meant merely to give learned talks learned commentaries but to be very practical so here is swami's quotation no man should scold his wife and he must always maintain her as if she were his own mother and even when he is in the greatest difficulties and troubles he must never show anger to his wife a householder who thinks of another woman besides his wife if he touches her even with his mind that man goes to dark hell before woman he must not talk improper language and never brag of his powers he must never say i have done this and i have done that a householder must always please his wife with money cloths love faith and words like nectar and never do anything to disturb her that man who has succeeded in getting the love of a chaste wife has succeeded in his religion and has all the virtues today i will stop with this but i want to end how sriram krishna kept his wife sharda devi and i have explained the reason because an avatar establishes dharma by practicing it himself that's what rama did that was krishna did that's what many avatars have done in the past so here how sriram krishna had worshipped holy mother and once he asked her how do you look upon me and she said without the least hesitation you i look upon you as mother kali and it is not a mere trite saying when sriram krishna passed away that was the only time when holy mother rushed even though the other men were there present in that room she shouted only once mother kali ma kali where did you go leaving me that means she was always looking upon him as mother kali now what about him sriram krishna he was asked how do you look upon me holy mother also equally wise she was nothing but saraswati born in this guise to give all of us knowledge and immediately sriram krishna replied that mother who gave me birth that mother who is receiving worship right now in the temple as bhavatarini i look upon you as the same anandamayi ma and he meant it not only meant it highly respected her and she said my husband i have a good fortune of having such a husband who never hurt me even with a flower at the time of marriage the parents the mother of ram krishna had to borrow ornaments and next morning they had to give back to the owner and that made the uncle of sarada devi very angry but chandramani told her my child when gadai grows up he will give you ornaments do not weep and that's what exactly sriram krishna did and one of the ornaments is what is called a bangle he had a vision of mother sita and he observed on the hands of the mother sita this kind of bangle and he remembered sriram krishna's memory was fantastic memory and he said he described that one got it made for holy mother he was not spending his own money he accumulated it and directed instructed hriday to make several ornaments and give it to his aunt which is meant by holy mother sharda devi and that is one then he always respected if holy mother says that do this he will do that holy mother says do not do this he will never do that so whole life sriram krishna looked upon holy mother not as a wife not even as an ordinary mother but as the very divine mother and he always tried to please with whatever best he could do sriram krishna was even ready to message the body of holy mother when she needed it even though she was the first person she would be the first person to prevent him ideally that's what he did what about srirama what did he do to sita many people will have this kind of problems and i want to answer to the best of my ability in our next class may ram krishna holy mother swami vekananda and swami shardanandaji bless us all with bhakti