Lecture on How to Become a Devotee of God 18 May 2018
Full Transcript (Not Corrected)
Introduction: The Foundation of Maturity
Yesterday we discussed the important characteristics of a mature personality. Without developing a sane mind, a mature mind, a person will never be happy either in this world or in the spiritual field—any field. The first condition is to develop a mature mind.
How do we know? A mature mind is always cheerful, optimistic and rational. These are among the many important characteristics we discussed yesterday.
The Central Question: Am I a Devotee of God?
Now the topic will be: Am I a devotee of God? Each one of us has to ask this question. When? Only after we develop maturity of personality, not before. Because you will be worthless either as a devotee of God or even as an ordinary human being.
So ask yourself: Am I a devotee of God? If the answer is yes, you are not a devotee of God.
The Proper Answer
What should be the answer? "I wish to become a devotee. I pray that let me become a devotee."
If anybody can say "I am a devotee of God," only who can say? Only God can say. In the 12th chapter of the Bhagavad Gita, the Lord enumerates certain characteristics and says, "The person who has these characteristics, he is a devotee." Only God should certify.
The Divine Certification
This is very interesting. Whenever you pass any examinations or attend examinations, who gives the certificate? You? Otherwise every student would be getting only first class first. It is only the examiners who have to give the certificate. So it is only God who can give the certificate.
How does God give the certificate? He gives his darshan and makes him one with himself. That is the only certificate. Otherwise it is a useless certificate.
Following the Commandments
What should we do? We should say, "I would like to become. Let me be a devotee of God. Let me try to become a devotee."
Then what are the characteristics necessary? The second thing is: follow the commandments.
- Suppose you say, "I would like to be the devotee of Sri Ramakrishna." What should such a person do? Follow the commandments of Sri Ramakrishna.
- "I want to be the devotee of Holy Mother." Follow the commandments of Holy Mother.
- "I want to be a Yogi." Then follow the Yama and Niyama.
- "I want to be a Bhakta of Narayana, according to Ramayana." Then follow the seven characteristics.
Six Characteristics for True Devotion
If I want to be a devotee of God, then Ramanujacharya gives certain characteristics, apart from these seven, qualifying us to really surrender ourselves to God. What are they? Six characteristics.
1. Seeking God's Approval
Before doing anything, ask yourself: Does this have the approval of God? Is He pleased? I will do only what pleases Him. Whatever I think displeases God, I will never do.
But how do I know what God wants me to do? It is the Shastra. The Shastras come in the form of the Gospel, Gita, Holy Mother's teachings, etc.
Ramanujacharya says before we do anything—and doing means what? Karma. Karma can be done in three ways: thinking, speaking, and acting.
Our problem is we don't want even to think, because if we think about any of these things, a definite certificate will be there: you are not a devotee of God.
Self-Examination Questions
Whatever pleases the Lord and whatever displeases the Lord, one should do one and refrain from the other. What are those things?
Do I indulge in criticizing verbally, mentally, or vocally? Criticizing, backbiting—worse than that is gossiping. What is the difference between gossiping and criticizing? Criticizing has a target, some person. Gossiping has no target.
The bird is flying. What has it got to do with you? The bus is making noise. What has it got to do with us? Like this, we go on gossiping, and yet we think that we are devotees of God.
Just video record one day of your activities. Not more days—not necessary. You know why? Because all our activities are repetitive. You don't have the creativity to create a new kind of gossip. The same old things carry on.
2. Time and Energy Management
Am I wasting my time and energy? When Shri Ramakrishna became a sadhaka, the very first thing that he did was he stopped wasting time, he stopped talking to people. The moment puja is over, he would shut the door and run into the jungle and would not come out until he was needed again.
Energy is very precious. Viveka Chudamani says human life is very precious. But what does human life mean? Time, energy and company.
If you expend energy, that is called activity. Every activity requires expenditure of time and energy. Even a thought is also consisting of energy, a little bit of energy.
3. The Company We Keep
What type of company am I keeping? Company means what? Books, people, and what type of environment, what type of photos? Shri Ramakrishna remarks: he went to some devotees' houses, all having Queen Victoria's paintings and all those things. But when he heard that somebody's house was full of religious pictures, then he went. See, they also have got some influence upon us.
Everything has got an influence upon us. Even a carpet has got an influence upon us. Supposing there is a beautiful carpet, what would you do? You step around it. You don't walk upon it because it is very precious. But if anybody is walking over us, that's okay. It doesn't matter. How careless we are.
The Importance of Self-Awareness
What is the point here? Always cultivate awareness. Even if you waste your time, be aware: "I am wasting time"—then it won't last long. That's why affirmations are necessary.
"Am I wasting my time?" Then it becomes a guilty feeling. "Oh, I am wasting my time." Because nothing can hide itself forever from us. This self-awareness is most wonderful.
Delighting in the Holy
Holy Company, Books, and Conversations
Do I delight in holy company, holy books, holy talks, holy conversation? Even if the holy person doesn't do anything, do I get delight, do I get joy from holy company? Or do I also criticize holy company?
"Yes, you know, why is this Swami eating so much? And I am getting only this. And devotees are serving Swami special dishes."
Now, are you criticizing the Swami or not? You are criticizing the Swami, you are criticizing the devotees who are serving, you are getting competitive jealousy. This is what Swami Vivekananda used to call "charches."
Women who did not succeed in getting a man then turn to religion. Yes, widows, people who have tragedies in life usually turn to religion because nothing in this world can give them support. But God can give support, religion.
But they are not seeking God. When we say "I am seeking God," there could be two purposes: Either I want God only, or I want God to fulfill some of my, or all of my desires, wishes.
Most people that go to Venkateshwara—do they care a fig for Lord Venkateshwara? No, they want to get fulfilled, hoping against hope. So we use God as an instrument for our own selfishness. This is the sad fact.
They are called two types of devotees: Artha and Artharthi. Only the third stage, Jignasa, then he will turn: "O Lord, Dhyo Yonaha Prachodaya." That is called Jignasa.
Measuring Our Spiritual Diet
How much time do you read holy books? How much time do you read newspapers? How much time do you watch trash?
A serious devotee like Shri Ramakrishna, when he notices a newspaper, immediately does what? Sprinkles Ganges water. Because it contains only worldly subjects. A devotee wants to become spiritual. Anything opposed to spirituality is forbidden.
We are not able to really overcome that tendency. That is okay for now, but we should be aware and say this is also a dependency. Like that, slowly we have to go forward.
Holy Conversations and Psychological Principles
How much time do you really talk to each other about holy things? Scriptures or whatever you heard in satsang? How much time do you go on talking about anything other than God? Take note and see.
If 90% of your time is going on only in unholy talks, does it really help us to become a devotee of God? Look at Shri Ramakrishna's life. He never used to indulge in these things. Look at any saint's life. The very fact that a person had become a saint automatically indicates: how did he become a saint? By indulging in all these things or by avoiding them?
The Psychological Law: Feeling Follows Action
William James rediscovered this psychological law: Feeling follows action. Usually what happens is action follows feeling. You feel like doing something—"I feel like drinking, I feel like eating, I feel like doing"—then action comes.
But the other way around is also equally true. Taking God's name is an action. But feeling devotion to God is a reaction. So you love God, you feel like taking His name, then you take the name. Feeling is followed by action.
But many times we do not have the feelings. How to bring them? You do the appropriate actions.
This is how quarrels also arise. Two people start with ordinary talk. Then it develops into an argument. Then shouting. Then fist fighting. Sometimes murder also happens.
Usually, action is followed by feeling. But we can create the feeling by simulating the actions. That is the key word: simulating.
You go on thinking, "I have devotion, I have devotion," like that. Then it becomes devotion. Slowly, we have a lot of obstacles to be removed. Temporarily, at least, we do feel.
Handling Criticism and Suffering
The Essence of Criticism
How do I take others criticizing me? How do I cope with suffering? There will inevitably be downsides in life. Everybody's life will have downsides. Most of the time, it is Kurukshetra.
A couple started coming from Hyderabad many years back. They were recently married. They told me, "Swamiji, we made a program: every day we read Mahabharata before going to bed." I said, "How much have you finished? Did you come to Kurukshetra?" The lady said, "The next day after marriage, Kurukshetra!"
When others criticize me, how do I take it? It is a great lesson: if I cannot take other people's criticism, how much pain and hurt do I cause to other people when I criticize them?
Secondly, when I criticize somebody, who is the real loser? Me. You know why? Criticism means only seeing the downside, the person's faults. I am meditating earnestly by criticizing on other people's faults. Even if I don't have those faults, they become mine now. This is called collecting trash from everybody.
We go on collecting 24 hours a day all the dirt other people accumulate and bringing it into our bedroom. There will be no space, including the bed. This is what we are doing. We are not understanding how much harm we are doing only to ourselves.
The Alternative: Seeing Excellence
What is the way? You find the good side—everyone has got something better than what we have. Somebody could cook better, somebody could speak better, somebody could summarize better, somebody could sing better. Everybody has got something good.
One of the spiritual qualities we need to develop is how to see the best side of another person. And what is that best side really? God.
In the Bhagavad Gita, 10th chapter, the Lord says: "Wherever you see excellence, know that it is my manifestation." Everything is manifestation of God only.
When I find somebody's fault, my mind becomes darkened. That means I'll be unhappy. When I see the good, I become glad. So when I criticize: gloom. When I see good things: glad.
This is the difference between gloom and glad. Do you want gloom or glad?
Understanding Life's Dualities
Life consists of opposites: happiness and unhappiness, life and death, good and evil, light and darkness, victory and defeat, honor and dishonor, profit and loss.
In the same person, sometimes mother keeps him in a high mood, sometimes in a low mood. Whatever is necessary for that person's development, that's what mother does. The wonderful thing is: whatever happens, it is for our good.
A mother never does anything for our unhappiness. Even though it appears as unhappiness—like a surgeon performing surgery—is it for the good of the patient or for the pleasure of the surgeon? For the good of the patient. That is how we have to take it.
Sometimes drastic surgery is needed.
Forgiveness and Prayer
Can I forget pain given by others, forgive them and pray for them? What did Jesus Christ say? "Pray for those who hurt you. Forgive your enemies and pray for them." That is what we need to do if we really want to reach God.
Does God ever forgive his enemies? The answer is no. He never forgives because he never knows what it means to be hurt.
The Story of Lord Venkateshwara
There's a beautiful story about Lord Venkateshwara. Once, devotees had a conference and wanted to decide which God among Brahma, Vishnu, and Maheshwara is best. They appointed Bhrigu Maharshi as the inspector.
First he goes to Brahma. Saraswati was playing veena and they were absorbed, not noticing Bhrigu. "How dare! Such a great Rishi had come and you have not received me with honors!" Bhrigu cursed: "Nobody is going to worship you."
Then he went to Shiva. Again, they were embracing each other, looking at each other, did not notice. He gave another curse.
Then he went to Lord Vishnu. He found him lying very relaxed—the only relaxed God in the world. Lakshmi was there but did not take notice at all. By this time, Bhrigu was boiling over with anger.
So he went and gave a kick. "Oh my God! A Rishi Sanyasi had come and we neglected him. What a great offense we have done!" And Vishnu took Bhrigu Maharshi and slowly started pressing his feet. There was an eye there, and he pressed it. All the egotism was due to that eye because it gave extraordinary power.
Bhrigu came down from his egotism. The Lord said, "You are my child. I will not take offense. Live a good life."
But Lakshmi said, "He kicked me because he kicked your chest, and I always stay here. I will not forgive you." So she ran and came down to earth.
Vishnu had no option but to come down because creation cannot be done without money. He came down, did tapasya, and many things happened. What is the point? We are talking about: did Vishnu forgive Bhrigu or not? There was nothing to forgive.
God says to Lakshmi, "Why are you offended? This person kicked me. When you are nursing a baby, what do you think that baby is doing all the time? Only kicking you. And do you get offended? Does any mother get offended saying, 'I am giving you milk and you are not grateful and you are kicking me'? Because she knows he is not kicking with intent—he is playing."
What are we doing? Where are we walking? Mother Earth. And where are we doing all the unwanted things? But does Mother Earth take offense? She knows there is no other way. She gives us food, absorbs all the waste material, looks after us—and in what way are we repaying her? Are we grateful?
If God doesn't forgive, where will we go? He had no option but to forgive for many reasons:
- Who gave this avidya that we are behaving like this? He is responsible.
- Suppose he says, "No, I don't forgive. Get out of here. I don't want to see your face." Can he avoid seeing our face?
God also has limitations. God cannot go on a holiday. I can go on a holiday.
Attachment and Detachment
Questioning Our Attachments
Am I attached to my family, to any persons, friends, religion, country, race, language, deity?
Usually family is our bondage: husband, wife, children, parents, relatives, friends. This is the normal situation in life.
What about religion? Are we attached to our religion? That means we don't like other religions. You should be devoted to your religion, but do you look down upon other religions? We do it all the time.
Suppose you go to a village and there is a small image in a niche, and somebody with a dirty cloth is kneeling down putting turmeric and coconut. Do we say, "He is a great devotee of God, he is also praying to God in his own way"? We tend to look down: "Superstitious fellow. He is bowing down to all these meaningless images."
As though, if it is nicely framed, it becomes acceptable. How many prejudices we have! What is the difference between our bowing down to Sri Ramakrishna and an illiterate villager bowing down to a stone? Is there any difference at all? He is expressing the same thing, maybe in a different way. There is no difference at all.
Understanding True Attachment vs. Devotion
Attachment means dependence: "I cannot live without." That is called attachment.
Does Shri Ramakrishna enjoy sweets? Does he enjoy music? He does all those things. What is the difference? He is not dependent upon them. If it is there, he will enjoy to the fullest extent. If it is not there, it's absolutely fine. He will not even think about it.
We are attached to all these things. But he is also attached—only to God. He depends only upon Divine Mother.
Country and Patriotism
Very important is country. We are all victims of that—attachment to one country. We are all what? Indians? Who said that?
It is said: seven feet if you walk on any country, you become a citizen of that country. How many years have we been living here? But suppose there is a cricket match between India and Pakistan, and India wins—whose blood pressure goes up? Our blood pressure goes up. Pakistan wins—blood pressure goes up again.
We are not judging who plays well; we don't appreciate the merit. This is what Swamiji calls "shop-keeping." This is attachment. And a devotee should never have this.
What does God do? He sees, he enjoys equally, the play. Sometimes these people will win, sometimes the other people will win. This is all a play, nothing else.
The Two Great Attachments: Kamini and Kanchana
The most important two things: Am I attached to money? Am I attached to sex pleasure?
Usually we don't talk about these things. But you have to talk. If you are a devotee, put this question: Am I attached to these two things? Only when we can say we are not attached, we are not slaves—how do we know?
Money Attachment
Money attachment works in two ways: Either we become greedy or we become miserly.
- Greediness: "I want more."
- Miserliness: "I don't want to spend. I don't want to give up."
Even when the scripture is telling, "If you give, then it will only come back thousandfold," but if anybody says confidently, "You give me a five-dollar note, I will convert it into five hundred dollars," immediately we give.
But scripture is telling, "I will give you five thousand, one thousand times more," in the form of the next life. Not in this life. That's why we don't trust.
Ask yourself: Will Shri Ramakrishna put his money in stock trading? Even if somebody says it's guaranteed, will he put it? I don't know. He is a very practical man. But even if he puts it, his motive will be: "If I get it, it will go in the service of..."
The Story of Sudama (Kuchela)
The moral lesson we have to learn from Sudama and Upendra Nath Mukherjee: He became a multi-millionaire and used most of his income only in the service of Ramakrishna Mission, poor people, etc.
Sudama—wonderful Bhagavata story. "Kuchela" means wearing cloth with lots of holes. In South India, he is better known as Kuchela. In North India, he is better known as Sudama.
He went to Krishna with a bit of flattened rice. There's a beautiful, heart-moving scene in Bhagavatam. Krishna saw this person at the far gate and immediately ran and fell at the feet of Kuchela Sudama: "My friend, after how many years you have remembered me!"
Krishna brought him, made him sit, and Rukmini was fanning. The female companions of Rukmini were wondering: what type of austerity this man had performed that Lakshmi herself is serving him, even though his clothes were full of dust?
Krishna brings a big plate for pada puja, wipes away the dust, sprinkles perfume, arranges for bathing, gives royal clothes. Then they were eating and recollecting all the incidents at Sandipani's ashram.
Krishna says, "My friend, after a long time you have come to see me. Definitely you have not come empty-handed. You must have brought something."
Sudama had no mind to tell that he had some dried flattened rice after seeing the royal dishes. Krishna himself opened it, took one handful: "I eat this with great tremendous zeal and happiness because it is offered with great devotion."
He wanted to take another fistful, and Rukmini caught his hand: "Whatever you have eaten is sufficient to make him rich for a million lives. You don't need to do more."
Krishna didn't ask one question: "Why did you come?" Because he knows why he came. Sudama had no words to speak because he was so much ashamed.
The next morning, Krishna bid farewell. Sudama was walking and thinking: "Krishna didn't ask. He did not give me any money. Why? Because he knows better than anybody—if any devotee gets money, then he will forget devotion. He will become worldly. For my own good, the Lord out of infinite compassion did not offer me anything."
Then the miracle happened. He went to his village and stood in front of his house. Where was the house? There was a palace. Everyone was dressed like royalty. His wife came out like Lakshmi Devi: "Don't you recognize me? This is Lord's grace."
Thereafter, he had more than enough. But how did he spend his money? Only in two things: Daiva Seva and Deena Seva (Service to God and service to the poor). Only in holy spiritual activities he spent all his money.
Understanding Sexual Attachment
Sex also is one of the most binding agents in our life. Ramakrishna gave guidance: a husband and wife can live this kind of life. For how long? After the birth of one or two children, then they should try to live like brothers and sisters.
What is important? What is the symbolism of sex? What is spirituality? To think "I am not the body, I am not the mind." What does sex do? It brings our attention to the body.
The Yoga Shastra gives a detailed description. It is not merely a physical act:
- Looking upon another person as an object of enjoyment
- Inhaling the fragrance that comes from the other person
- Keeping an object belonging to that person and dwelling upon it
- Association
- Hearing their conversation and thinking about the sweet words spoken by the other party
All this is Ashtavitha Maithuna (eightfold sexual behavior).
The teaching about sex is to reduce body consciousness. When we know we are not the body and later we are not the mind, then only one choice remains. There are only three things: Consciousness, body, mind. "I am not the body, I am not the mind"—then who am I?
Another point: what does sex really mean? Happiness, pleasure. We do everything for one purpose: happiness. If we can get more happiness and it is much more economical—you don't need to do anything, just remember God. That's all. Nothing else. Very economical.
Self-Awareness: Thoughts, Speech, and Actions
Am I aware of my thoughts, speech and actions? Above all, motives?
In the Bhagavad Gita, there are three types of Tapasya:
- Sharirika Tapasya (Bodily austerity)
- Vachika Tapasya (Verbal austerity)
- Manasika Tapasya (Mental austerity)
Truthfulness
Do I speak truth? And do I speak unpleasant truth? Do I speak harmful truth?
Truthfulness means speaking what is beneficial to people. That alone is truthfulness. Otherwise, truthfulness can harm other people, and that is worse than telling a lie.
If you can tell a lie that is beneficial, then that is called truth.
The Mahabharata Story of the Deer
Some people wanted to hunt a deer. They were chasing it. The deer ran in front of a Rishi who saw it and it ran away. Soon the hunters came, seeing the holy man. They bowed down and asked, "Did you see a deer passing in front of you?"
He said yes. "In which direction did it go?" He showed the opposite direction. Then they all went away that way.
The Mahabharata tells us this is called practice of truthfulness. Why? Because if he had told the truth, he would have been a participant in the death of the deer. By telling this lie, he saved the deer, saved those people from the sin of killing, and saved himself from participating as a partner in the sin.
Truthfulness is not just stating verbally what we have experienced. If it doesn't do any harm, tell the truth. If it is going to do harm—and we definitely know it is going to do harm—then don't tell it. But if you know it is going to do good, make sure you tell it. This is called truthfulness.
Truthfulness leads to truth-seeking. And what is the ultimate truth? God.
Speech and Actions
Am I aware of my speech? Speech could do a lot of harm. Most misunderstandings come only when we just talk. Maybe sometimes we don't mean it, but how do we know the other persons don't take it the wrong way? Sometimes it's better to keep quiet. It is good also to observe a bit of silence.
Do I know what action I am doing? We will be far from being a devotee if we really observe what we are doing.
Above all, most important: what is the motive? When you are talking to somebody, what is the motive? Do you prefer this person to the exclusion of another? The mind should never do this. We should be aware of our motives.
Suppose a person goes to Tirupati and prays—what is the motive? Is it to get God, or is it to make God do my bidding? A devotee should always emphasize that.
Emotional Reactions and Rationality
Do I react instinctively, emotionally and regret later? Most of the time we are only reacting emotionally. Then later on we understand, and it is good to regret. But it is not enough. After regretting we say, "I will try not to repeat this next time." That is a devotee's characteristic.
Am I rational? Do I see others' point of view? Can I stand in the other person's shoes? A devotee must develop this. Many times people don't do bad things out of bad motives. It could be ignorance or they could be slaves of habit.
We should not judge in any case. We should ask: "Why is this person talking, behaving, reacting in this way? Can I put myself in the other person's shoes?"
Many quarrels can be avoided if we can ask this question. Somebody said: "Walk one mile in the other person's shoes before you dare to criticize them." It is very practical—in case he decides to come after you, first thing is you are one mile away, second is he doesn't have shoes!
Superiority and Inferiority Complexes
Do I look down? Do I have the habit of looking down upon others? Always we are comparing in every way: physically, intellectually, emotionally, mentally, even spiritually. We have to find out.
Mostly the answer would be: yes, I look down upon somebody and I look up to somebody. This is what is called suffering from inferiority or superiority complex.
Psychologists point out how much influence this has, even on physical personality. Simple example: here is a person five feet tall, and when a person who is six feet tall is walking beside him, automatically his personality shrinks. But when a person who is four feet tall is walking by his side, he tries to put his hand on the other person's shoulder.
Unconsciously, we are exhibiting complexes. We have to be careful.
Craving Attention
Do I crave others' attention and react accordingly? We are all cravers of attention. When children sing, we appreciate—that's good, we encourage them. But when we are mature, we are always looking for other people's appreciation. This is sheer slavery.
Let me do what I know is right and good. That is it. I don't care how the other person responds—whether they cheer, appreciate, or criticize.
But sometimes people also have excessive praise—that is also a disease. Excessive praise means the person has nothing substantial of their own. You just live on other people's opinions.
Too much excessive praise is bad. Not appreciating other people's goodness is also not good. There must be balance.
The only attention we need to crave is God's. If he is giving us attention, we crave his attention—that's absolutely fine. Not any human being. Why? Because that means we rely upon some people and constantly require praise. Otherwise our spirit goes down.
Children also do this. A child is playing and stumbles and falls down. He looks here and there. Nobody is there—he will dust himself and go on. But the moment he sees mother's sari... If nobody is there, he will simply get up and continue.
We are all "mustached babies." We behave like that. Not childlike behavior—childish behavior. Child's behavior is very good, innocent. We have to learn from the child. Whatever the child does, he is totally absorbed for the time being. He will not be thinking of something else.
Do I practice Anudarsha and Anavasada?
- Anudarsha means too much excitement, too much emotional reaction. There should be some excitement, but not too much.
- Anavasada means not too much depression.
Most of the time, depression is a sign of mental sickness. A little bit of sadness is normal. There is a difference between sadness and depression. Depression is a mental disease. Sadness—when we hear some undesirable events, some accident, some illness of others—then we should become sad. But how much? Not too much. Only a little bit.
This is called balance. And this is one of the definitions of yoga: Samatva (equilibrium).
What happens in balance? Quickly we can recover. Every moment when we are walking, there is balance. We tilt a little, but we keep the balance so that if something happens, we can quickly recover and come back to position.
Steadfastness (Nishtha)
Do I have nishtha or steadfastness? Does my spiritual practice depend upon my mood or external conditions?
Sometimes cloudy, rainy weather for 3-4 days has a tremendous effect upon our mind. Mood, clouds, darkness also affect our mind. Am I depending upon my mood in my spiritual practices, or whatever be the condition of the mind, am I doing what I am supposed to do?
The Example of Shabari
How many days were days of disappointment for Shabari? 99 years. Every day was a disappointment. Your Guru told, "Rama will come." He did not say when. Every day she was expecting with fruits. Days passed, months passed, years passed, decades passed—she became 99. When did he come? On the last day of her life.
Seeing Rama, she said, "I don't want to leave after seeing your face. I want to die looking at your face." And he performed her final rites just like he would do to his own mother later on. This is called an example of steadfastness, nishtha.
Four Pillars of Spiritual Life
Swami Ashokanandaji outlined four pillars of wisdom:
- Achara (Practice): You decide for yourself a routine and say, "This is what I am going to follow." As you go on following, it becomes a pleasant duty. If you don't do it, you feel uneasy.
- Nishtha (Steadfastness): Achara matures into nishtha. How do we know? If we don't do it one day, we feel very uneasy, unhappy. Until we complete it, we don't feel happy. Then we know nishtha has come.
- Shraddha (Faith): Nishtha leads to understanding, faith. "This is good." Understanding comes.
- Dhyana (Meditation): Only then can we build up dhyana.
We all start only with certain external habits which our Guru prescribes. In course of time, if we do it every day, it turns into nishtha. Then nishtha leads to understanding, shraddha. That's what happened to Nachiketa.
Definite Affirmations
Do you have definite affirmations? This is very important. You devise your own affirmations depending upon what is your diagnosis of your defects.
Suppose you find: "I am not regular in my spiritual practice." What should be the affirmation? "I will try to be regular and steadfast in my spiritual practices."
Suppose you find you are in the habit of criticizing other people or reacting without thinking much. What should be the affirmation? "I will try not to react emotionally, not to criticize, but I will try to see the best in others."
These affirmations we have to devise according to our needs. This is like specific medicines targeted to specific diseases. This is what CBT is doing—Cognitive Behavior Therapy. They are helping millions of people all over the world.
I would prefer that we do japa of these affirmations, which will remind us what we need to do to correct our behavior, rather than going on doing japa and puja without awareness. Those should also be done, but this is very important.
This is how we can grow slowly to become devotees of God.
Summary: The Path Forward
First thing: never answer "I am a devotee of God." This is the goal. We have to reach that goal.
Find out some of the things we have discussed. Of all the things, most important is: see the best in other people. Do not criticize, do not gossip. Gossip is the worst. Every ashram I visit, sometimes even the heads of the centers are gossiping—all politics, this, that, so many things.
The onus, the responsibility is upon each one of us. God has given us human birth, the power to discriminate, to find out what needs to be done, what needs to be corrected, which direction we need to go, and with the help of these affirmations.
Before going to bed, review the whole day: What did I do? Where did I miss? Can I improve myself? If we do this, definitely we will become better and better devotees, until God himself certifies we are devotees. That certificate comes in the form of realization, self-knowledge.
Om Shanti Shanti Shanti
Questions and Answers
Q: How do we love people without getting attached, especially with respect to children?
A: Thakur had already given the answer: Live in the world like a maid servant. Never think they are "my" children. You and your own body and mind do not belong to you.
Always think: Thakur has given me this body, Thakur has given me this mind. So also Thakur has given these children. You are only just an occasion for their bodies to come out. You are not responsible for their samskaras.
As a parent you want to give your best. First you behave how you want them to behave. Then tell them, encourage them, do it. In childhood, you can take them to the shrine and repeat stotrams, etc. But once they grow up, do not become either excited or depressed by what is happening, because it all happens according to their own samskaras. That is the truth.
That is how every one of us must behave in this world.
Q: If we love all children as our children, is that also considered unattachment?
A: Yes. If you particularize, that is called attachment. If we remove that particularization, it is called love.
If you love your own children, that is called attachment. If you love everybody, that is really true love. What is the problem with attachment? You depend upon it. What is the characteristic of love? You are the master.
That is what we should develop. Why do we call Holy Mother "Holy Mother"? She has absolutely no discrimination. "All are my children." Her teaching has been reflected in that.
If you want peace of mind, then four commandments. One of the commandments: "No one is a stranger." Make the whole world your own. That is what we have to do. This is called spirituality.
To see God in everything means what? You say "I love God," and you see God in something—you love that. That means there is no discrimination there. You can only love. You don't depend upon that.
Ultimately, even loving God, depending upon God, is also a bondage. Until that point, it is like using a big thorn to remove a small thorn. That's why Ramakrishna was advised by Totapuri: "Cut all thoughts, including the thought of your Divine Mother."
Q: Is Brahman also an idea in the mind?
A: Yes, it is an idea. It is called Brahma Akaravrita (mental modification of Brahman). But don't think there is no Brahman. That which makes us tick is Brahman.
When mind is removed, what remains? Pure consciousness remains. But it is indescribable.
Q: What are the three types of tapasya?
A: In the Bhagavad Gita, Bhagavan Krishna elaborates: Manasika, Vachika, Kayika (mental, verbal, bodily).
Bodily Tapasya: "Deva-dvija-guru-prajna-pujanam shaucham arjavam brahmacharyam ahimsa cha shariram tapa uchyate" (Worshipping God, Brahmins, guru and wise people; cleanliness, straightforwardness, celibacy, non-violence—this is called bodily austerity)
Verbal Tapasya: "Anudvega-karam vakyam satyam priya-hitam cha yat svadhyaya-abhyasanam chaiva van-mayam tapa uchyate" (Speech that does not agitate, that is truthful, pleasant and beneficial, and the practice of study—this is called verbal austerity)
Mental Tapasya: "Manah-prasadah saumyatvam maunam atma-vinigrahah bhava-samshuddhir ity etat tapo manasam uchyate" (Serenity of mind, gentleness, silence, self-control, purity of thoughts—this is called mental austerity)
You can find this in the Bhagavad Gita, 17th chapter. These are the three types we are supposed to practice.
Real tapasya is controlling the body and mind and directing them towards God. That's important.
Q: If we take up one idea and give our life for it, do all other qualities come along?
A: I will give you the answer, but first you need to understand: this is a gang. All good qualities never come in isolation. They don't come in individual packages. They all come in one package.
That means if you want to practice one, you will have to practice the others also. For example, if you want to stop criticizing anybody, how do you stop? Automatically other things come. If you want to stop criticizing, you have to find a better use for your time and energy. Otherwise, if you don't have anything to occupy your mind, criticism becomes the easiest way. You feel bad, so the remedy for feeling bad is making other people feel bad: "I am much better than other people."
The whole package comes together. One sadhana means all these things come together because these are different expressions of the same thing. All bad things are different expressions of something bad. All good things are different expressions of the same good thing.
I would say: find the best in everybody. At the beginning you can understand it's very difficult, especially with those who are nearby. To see good in somebody in Australia or Mars is very easy. But to see good in the person immediately next to you is very difficult.
But practice: "I will see the best." Everything else follows. That is the spiritual program. What is spiritual? To see God in everything. What do you mean by seeing God? You see God manifest in some form or the other. Even the worst form is only a manifestation of God.
One ideal means what? Usually Ramakrishna said: one religion, one scripture, one guru, one ishta devata, one mantra. Stick to it. This is the idea of spiritual chastity.
Q: Why should there be evolution and involution at all?
A: Because of Maya. Maya's function is play.
This is a very interesting question because in Vedanta, when we are talking about Maya, it is a different issue than when a bhakta is talking about Maya. These are two separate issues.
According to Advaita Vedanta, Maya is an inimical force trying to keep us deluded. Whereas according to Bhagavatam and Bhagavad Gita, the Lord clearly says: "It is my Maya."
Maya is our mother. All these situations she is creating for whose good? Ours. Slowly she wants to take us to the Lord and say, "This is your real home."
Involution means coming down from our real home. We are at home—and what is our home? God. Coming down from God is called involution.
We have already come down. Now we are not in the process of involution. We are in the process of going back to our home—evolution.
It's like a staircase. How did you come to the basement? Through the staircase. How will you go up again? Through the same staircase.
That which brought us down is Maya. That which is going to take us up to our home is also Maya. Because Maya is expression of mind. One type of mind brings us down (untrained mind). The other type of mind takes us up (trained mind).
Who says that? Bhagavad Gita. Krishna says: "The mind is our friend and also our greatest enemy." The difference is only training.
Maya helps us to train. She creates all the simulations—situations we are asked to face that give us training. First we fail. Then we learn the lesson: "If this kind of situation arises in future, I will react in this way."
Here is a tragedy, and I thought I lost my life. Then I say, "No, this is training." Next time the same thing happens, I don't feel devastated. I feel detached.
All situations—tragic situations, happy situations—every situation is tailor-made not for its sake, but for us to learn our lessons and slowly progress. That is called evolution.
Where is the end of evolution? We go back home. Then evolution stops because we have reached.
In Sankhya Yoga, this is beautifully explained. They don't call it Maya; they call it Prakruti. The function of Prakruti is to take each soul by the hand and lead the soul gently to the Purusha and say, "This is your home. I am happy you reached your home."
For each soul, through evolution it takes us to God and says, "That is your home."
This is a positive way of understanding what life in the world means. It is only the Advaitavadins (that's why they are called Mayavadins) who unnecessarily brought confusion. They ask: "What makes us forget our nature?" Maya. "What is Maya?" "It is indescribable." If they stopped there, they would be good people. But they wrote volume after volume trying to describe what is indescribable. That's why they are called Mayavadins.
Sri Ramakrishna changed that and said: Maya is not our enemy. Maya is our own mother, gently teaching us lessons and taking us to God.