Gospel of Sri Ramakrishna Lecture 030 on 02-March-2021

Full Transcript(Not Corrected)

Om Tava Katha Amritam Tapta Jeevanam Kavi Bhiriditam Kalma Shaapaham Shravanam Angalam Shreemadatatam Bhuvigranantite Bhuridha Janaha In our discussion and as well as meditation on the Gospel of Sri Ramakrishna we are speaking about the duties. Why? Because we would like to understand how a spiritual aspirant can progress in life. Life is nothing but, it can be, life can be included only in the varna and ashrama. Of course nowadays, what is called varna system, caste system is almost obliterated. If at all to speak of varna, there are householders, there are sannyasins, brahmanas are there, kshatriya, vaisya, shudra, but that was all a story in the past. All the four castes have been completely obliterated now between the East and the West within India itself and that has come about because of the education and the modern technology which make everybody communicate with everybody else. So also in the ashramas, supposed to be a very living order, a student's life, married life, etc., more or less that also has become only a householder's life and those who take sannyasa, they are not taking it mostly just to follow the Hindu dharma but as a matter of a willing on the part of the heart, their heart, but whether it is explicitly stated or not, at any given time, we are at a particular point in our journey towards rediscovering our own true nature and that is where the sattva, rajas and tamo gunas will come and that is how society has been divided into four consecutive evolutionary orders as well as in each individual life where we are. One thing very beautiful about life understood from the Hindu's point of view is these ashramas are also our mental constructs, that is how we can take at any given time, day or night, from birth to death. From birth I mean when a child is capable of understanding a little bit about himself and the world, each one of us can be in any one of these four states or ashramas of life. For example, early morning is the time when we have to communicate with God, sandhya, dawn and dusk. When the sun rises and we are very active, then that can be called as a householder's life and every day, every hour we learn our lessons, we being human beings and it is common as the saying goes, to err is human, we commit a lot of mistakes and therefore we also, if we keep our eyes open, learn and that learning process is called brahmachari ashrama and then next time when such similar situations arise, we put our past experience into good use. That is called experimenting and experiencing stage, which is the particular manifestation of grihastha's life. When we are totally attached ourselves to friends, family and even to guru, even to God, here I want to speak something very very important for us. The more we love God, the more we progress in spiritual life, we are supposed to develop detachment including even God. You probably will be surprised to hear, do we have to be detached towards God? Yes, in the end we have to be detached, even to be dependent upon God is a state of bondage. Then how do we express our detachment towards God? The highest stage as we know is I am you, so I am not dependent upon you, you are not my master or protector, but I am you and you are me. Not only that, until the last moment, whether we know it or not, God is dependent upon us. We are not dependent upon God, God is dependent upon us. Again this statement may come as, but I will just explain it to you. See, I have got independence, I don't want to think about God, I will not think about God. I want to think about the world, I will think about the world. So now poor God has to plead, Baba, I am here and you are my child, I am your parent. At least now and then look up at me and then remember me. Yes, yes, yes, I also heard, do not disturb me now, I am very busy with my wife, with my husband, with my children, with duties, socialities, media, etc., etc., etc., the world is really mad. So, but this is not true independence, this is pervertedness, pure worldliness. How do we know? Everything has to be judged by the result. If we are truly independent of God, we should be the happiest people in the world and we should be masters of ourselves. But even a little bit of observation about ourselves objectively reveals the truth that we are slaves to every passing object in this world. What does it mean? Some object is passing, it has nothing to do with us, but we cannot help but glance at it, think about it, even for a second it may be, but it is a distracting thought. Why can't you simply keep quiet and go about your job? If you are reading a book, read. If you are walking, walk. If you are thinking something, think about it. Why do you want to do it? Why do you want to look at any passing object, any passing dog, any passing bird, any sound that distracts us, that shows how much we are slavish. This is not real true independence. Simply we are ignorant about God, the love of God and our dependence, total dependence upon God. We are completely ignorant, we are mad people, we are foolish people. But true independence from God comes when the thought of God never leaves our mind. And when does the thought of God never, even for a millisecond, leave us? This is the state of Nirvikalpa Samadhi, complete identity. By the way, if you are dabbling with a little bit of Sanskrit, Nirvikalpa means there is absolutely no wave, no thought wave. That means the mind is totally blank. That's a total misapprehension. Nirvikalpa means without any limitation of time, space or causation, the mind becomes identified with one single thought, I am, and that is called Nirvikalpa Samadhi. Neither a state of blankness, much less a state of unconsciousness or whatever it is. Unable to understand this simple definition, many people misinterpret the Nirvikalpa Samadhi as a state of total blankness. Even from that point of view also, I will give a small example. We have many thoughts in our minds. Let us take two thoughts and you have to remember, at any given time, we can become conscious of only one thought. The moment we become conscious of a second thought, the first thought is already ended. Now think over it. Between these two thoughts, what do you think is there? How do you become aware of your thought? Because of awareness. What is that awareness called? Consciousness. Just imagine, suppose there is a white screen is there and two pictures are imposed upon it and one is of one person, another is of a tree. Now even while we are looking at that screen, an illusion is created in us that we are looking at two pictures completely different from each other. Here is a man or maybe he is having a dog. He is taking a dog out for a walk and the dog is tied with a small bit of rope or chain or whatever it is. Even this simplest illustration. Are you aware of the man? You are not aware of either the rope or the dog. Are you aware of the rope? You are not aware of the other two. Are you aware of the dog? Then you are not aware of the... When one thought, single thought alone can occupy. But that's not the point. I am trying to draw your attention. The point is when one thought ends definitely, another thought begins. What do you think? That's why I brought the example of the screen. So as soon as our mind shifts, let us say, from the person and shifts to, let us say, to the dog, what do you think the mind will be observing? The screen, pure white screen. And then we forget the screen and then we remember the dog. And when the dog thought ends, maybe we remember the thought of the rope. So there is a background and that's very important for us to cognize. Without the background of the screen, you cannot cognize a single object. Then what is it that makes us cognize when we are walking in the street? Is there a screen? Yes, there is a screen. What is that screen? We call it space. Only against the background of space. And what is space? The space is called blankness. And that blankness is not what we think, blankness. That is called pure consciousness. So any given two thoughts are imposed upon the consciousness and one thought ends. One particular thought that is enveloped by consciousness ends and another thought begins again enveloped by the consciousness. What do I mean? The background to cognize here is a person. Only when there is consciousness, we know here is a person. When another thought comes, here is a dog, there must be consciousness. This is first illustration. The next illustration that I want to give is that it is a consciousness as it were. When I gave the first illustration, the screen is separate and the figure is separate. It's not like that. The screen itself assumes the form of the man, the form of the dog, the form of the rope, whatever else, any thought, any idea that comes. If we can understand it, it is consciousness. If there is no thought, it is pure consciousness. If there is a thought, then there is, we call it awareness. This is called vritti. This is called pratyaya. So whenever a thought comes, it is a mixture. What is the mixture? Consciousness with a name and form and qualities is called a thought. I am trying to convey something very deep. That's why please bear with me. Supposing you are in a dark room, another illustration I am giving. You are in a completely dark room and there is a big window and the window is made up of pure, very thin transparent glass and then there is beautiful daylight outside. But we have covered that glass completely with thick dark curtain and the room remains completely dark. Then of course you remove the curtain. Pure white light is streaming and then imagine you take a glass cutter and draw and remove a piece of that glass in a square way or you put a black paper, glue it. This black paper will be like a square and what do you see against the background of the light? A black square, immediately you recognize. How did you recognize? Because that black square has blocked that particular stream of light. You can change it. You can change it, it may be a round, when you say it is round, it may be the form of a man, you say it is a man or it may be a dog, it may be any object in this world, it doesn't matter. And how did you cognize that particular, let us say man, how did you cognize that man? Be very careful, try to understand, all around, surrounding that man, man's figure, there is light streaming and now we put up a black cutout of a man and immediately you say it, even a child will say that is a man, that is a woman, etc. How did you understand it is a man or a woman? Because the light behind is illumining that particular figure, that is the point I wanted to draw your attention. When there is no figure against the background of the light, it is pure light. But the moment we put up any cutout, then we recognize. You can put any number of cutouts, a man, a rope, a dog, everything. But the important point is to be able to see that man, that rope, that dog, we need that background light. Because that background light alone illumines, this is a figure cutout of a man, this is the cutout of a rope, this is the cutout of a dog. If it is complete darkness, it makes no difference but then Vedanta goes even deeper and says, even to say that it is completely dark, who is saying? The person who is in that room is saying. How he is able to say? Because he is fully conscious. Previously there was light, now I saw that light, now I don't see that light and not seeing light is called darkness. So that consciousness alone is there. Now what is all this discussion about? It's all about whole life is a journey from the student's life to the grihasta life to the vanaprastha life or any life. In that context, I was trying to illustrate all of us at different points of time. Our students, our householders, our vanaprasthis, our sannyasins, no one is completely a brahmachari or a student or a learning person. No one is a complete householder, no one is a vanaprasthi, no one is a sannyasin. Of course, you know when a person takes to deliberately a retired life, you call him a retired person actually. But when a person puts on certain robes, you recognise this is a swami, he has taken ochre cloth etc. But if that person who has taken ochre cloth is thinking of food, is he a sannyasi or is he a householder? Householder means here not a married person, householder means a person who is completely conscious of the body and mind and hence the whole world through the medium of the body and mind. So, these are states of the mind when we are in an eager state concentrating on learning our lessons. At that point of time, until that time lasts, we are students. When we gain this knowledge and apply it to our day-to-day life situations and react hopefully in a wiser manner and enjoy as the result of our experiments, that is called a householder's life, experimenting and experiencing. At times, we just want to be ourselves, it is not a state of tiredness, it is a state of detachment. The mind becomes tired of thinking about other people, we just want to sit and we just want to enjoy something. No husband, no wife, no children, no friends, no duty, nothing. Just we want to withdraw and be all by ourselves completely and that is called the state of retirement or vanaprasthi. And then there comes a time when we understand life better, surrender ourselves completely and then say, I am helpless, nothing is in my hands, everything is run by the Divine Mother, Divine Lord. That is called complete, the state of complete surrender to a higher power is called the state of a sanyasi. I hope I am able to clear some of these points. So, our ancestors, our rishis were great psychologists. For example, Patanjali could not have written or composed this beautiful yoga shastra without the depth understanding of human mind. What is psychology? Science of the mind. What does it do? How does it help us? If we understand our body, we can keep it healthy, we can make it strong and we can enjoy life. Similarly, if we understand our mind better, then we will be able to cope with situations but that's also a negative idea. We will be able to employ it fully, we will be able to develop all the potentialities of life to the greatest extent that is possible and thereby move forward in the evolutionary scale. So, every spiritual aspirant must become an expert psychologist. So, our rishis were such great expert psychologists. They studied life and then they understood something which we had been discussing. So, the whole universe is made up of what? Three gunas. We call it prakruti or we can call it maya. It doesn't really matter. We call it Saguna Brahma but it is all made up of three gunas. Srishti sthiti vinashanam, shakti bhute sanatani, guna ashraye, guna mayi, guna ashraye. She manifests the gunas but who is she? She is the embodiment of the three gunas, sattva, rajas and tamas. So, whether it is a dog, whether it is a brahmana, whether it is a student or a sanyasi, the whole manifestation is nothing but a combination of these three sattva, rajas qualities, gunas. Now coming back, how can we develop a higher guna? So, again I have already spoken but just to remind ourselves, no guna is bad by itself. Every guna is most appropriate and most useful and in fact it is the only guna which is useful at some given time for discharging a particular duty or for doing work. For example, if you want to sleep, tamo guna is the best guna and pray to God, pray to the Divine Mother. If you are not getting sleep, there is a mantra for sleep. I am not making fun but it is funny also a little bit. What is that mantra? Do you know? yadivi sarvabhuteshu nidrarupena samsthita Go on repeating it and you are likely to fall asleep and if you are not falling asleep upon repeating it, that means you are not doing it properly. So, that is called tamo guna. Tamo guna is most wonderful guna for that particular activity and you know what is the most wonderful thing about it? If we are really able to sleep properly, we don't need that much of sleep. With the minimum of sleep, we can get up completely alert, completely energetic, completely washed out all the yesterday's tiredness, not only physical but mental tiredness. Many things happen in deep sleep also. So, that guna is wonderful. At that, when I want to sleep, rajo guna comes. That is the most horrible thing that can happen in the world and when I want to meditate without distraction, go deep into God, then sattva guna is the most appropriate guna but when I am driving a car, do not exhibit your sattva guna in the form of remembering God. Most accidents will happen only at that time. I will narrate a funny story to you. Probably, I did it many times. Once I was in Providence and one of our Swamis was driving me to some devotee's house and he was talking with me and almost there was an accident was about to happen. Anyway, we reached safely. The Swami at the last moment understood it and controlled it and of course by Mother's grace, nothing happened. We reached the devotee's house and again we came back to the ashram and the devotees of that Swami were very eager to know, Swami, how did our Swami's driving was? I said, what wonderful Swami you have. You have been so lucky. The moment he started driving, my mind automatically was only remembering God and nothing else. So, when you are driving, you practice the presence of God but do not think about anything else excepting paying your attention and that is called sattva guna sampanna rajo guna. Rajo guna but it is supported by sattva guna, not tamo guna. Many accidents happen because of tamo guna. What is the tamo guna, do you know? If somebody is driving and his or her mind is distracted for a second and that is when accidents are likely to happen, that distraction of the mind is called tamo guna. So, rajo guna but supported by sattva guna. What does it mean? It means the person is very calm and quiet. Even when we are driving, not only we have to be careful about how we drive but we also have to be alert about how others drive. So, if somebody has lost control and then the moment we see our mind gets into rajo guna and then we will not know what to do. That can be also another cause of the accident. So, sattva guna sahayaka rajo guna. So, every guna is good in its own way. So, life whether it is varna or whether it is ashrama life is a development of all the gunas but more important is that it must be controlled. The master guna is a sattva guna and in order to do that our scriptures have divided or elaborating the duties of what a sattva guna sampannas are, what is shudras, in other words tamo guna sampannas, not by birth, shudra by birth or vaisya by birth or kshatriya by birth or even brahmana by birth. This guna, dominance of the gunas. So, also a student has got his own qualities to develop and do you know what are the qualities of the students? Most wonderful things are there. So, matru devobhava, pitru devobhava, acharya devobhava and then pay attention. So, be very humble and I have come here to learn and I have to learn. This is my duty in life. So, also a householder should have his own duties in life. That's what we have been discussing in our few last classes on the gospel. So, it may be some of you are wondering instead of going forward in the gospel of Sri Ramakrishna, why are we dwelling so much time, so long upon these duties? The simple reason is it is these proper discharge of the duties according to the station or development of spiritual progress we made in life and spiritual progress means making these gunas and especially sattva guna more and more prominent aided by vajra guna as well as tamo guna and a funny thought came just now to my mind. I will share it with you. Tamo guna is not only useful for sleep. Supposing somebody insults you, so I will give you two examples. Suppose there is a buffalo lying in the street, in the middle of the street. You go on abusing it. Do you think it will mind? Because a buffalo is supposed to be having full of tamo guna. Similarly, there are so many politicians. You know how many abuses, how many criticisms. Take the example of our prime minister. How many insults he had to go through? How many people are ready to finish him off if he is a little bit not careful? So, that is the price one has to pay. That's not the point I am trying to refer. But if he happens to lose his sleep and goes on worrying 24 hours, do you think he can really do any good to the world, even including himself? So, every politician is immune. They are endowed with terrible tamo guna, not in the idea of sleep. The idea of that I don't care. I don't care you abuse a buffalo, you pour water towards it, you sling mud at it or stones at it. It will not mind. Even you beat it. Do you think it is going on? Oh, this man has beaten me. Oh my God, why have you created me? I feel like committing suicide. I lose my sleep. Buffalo never minds it. And that is why Bhagavan Shankara always rides on a bull. Do you understand what is a bull? It is completely endowed with tremendous amount of tamas and as well as rajas, as well as sattva. What does it mean? It has so much of mental strength and that is needed for Bhagavan Shankara Jnana. A Jnani also can go through all these physical sufferings, mental sufferings. Life is nothing but full of suffering only. Existential suffering, even the other way of suffering also. How much sukha, how much happiness do we really get? If I analyze it, many classes will go like that. But I am not going into it. So, take the example of a buffalo, example of a politician. They must develop that buffalo quality. What do I mean? Any number of oppositions will be there. People will be slinging mud at them. But it is as if they are living like a mud fish, even though they are living in the mud. It doesn't attach. I am not talking whether they are good politicians or bad politicians. I am talking about if anyone wants to be a politician, he must become like a buffalo that doesn't, should not care, should not even think back, remember what the other people talk about him, but go forward. Of course, this can be applied to goodness or evilness. That's a different issue. I am only giving an example. So, we must develop that kind of tamo guna where heat and cold and respect and disrespect, losing and gaining, all these things should not touch us too much. Of course, we say we are human, something a little bit we have to go through, that is conceded. But we must have that guna. What is rajo guna in this context? Rajo guna is my goal is to be happy and I can get the highest happiness only when I go to God or when I become God. So, I must never, even for one little second, stop my endeavour. I must be full of enthusiasm. Whether I am happy in the sadhana, not happy in the sadhana, progressing, not progressing, I will go on doing my best. That is called endowment with rajo guna. Then what is, that is developing rajo guna. What is developing sattva guna, I must never forget for one second. This is the goal of my life. God alone is the real. Everything else is not unreal but temporary. And the temporary is the greatest reality because it is that temporariness only that can help me get out of this bondage. What am I talking about? This body is temporary. This mind also is temporary. But they are the greatest instruments through which I can get either yoga or bhoga or roga. That's why our ancient rishis have said, So, I took this long introduction to remind us that every state we go through life either as a caste, unfortunately that word is not a good word. Varna is a better word or through the ashrama, stages of life. So, what was I trying to tell you? That we are at some given point of time, we are brahmanas. At other times, we are kshatriyas. At other times, we are vaisyas. At other times, we are shudras also because we are human. At any given time, we are students means equipped with the learning capacity. At some other points of time, we are experiencing and we are also experimenting and experiencing both and learning hopefully our lessons and moving forward. Life is nothing but an experiment and slowly moving, discarding what is not useful, trying to find out something better which is useful. And at times, we need definitely to focus upon retiring. It's what Shri Ramakrishna used to say, retire. Either to, he had peculiar words he coined in Bengali, Bone means if there is a beautiful place nearby and there are not many distractions, go to that place even if you have to walk for half an hour. But even if you spend 15 minutes there, it is the most useful thing in this whole world. 15 minutes, you are completely distraction free and this is called solitude. Solitude is nothing but to be in the presence of God. Or if that is not possible to go out, then find out in your own house and not certainly between the kitchen and the toilet. That is where the most sounds come from. Unfortunately, most of our shrine rooms are located in between the kitchen and in between the toilet. That is the worst thing anybody can do. Anyway, if it is possible, find out the best place in the house which is the least disturbing in any way that is possible. So, this is what is called Kone, in a corner of your house. Ramakrishna coined it. Of course, when he coined these things, most outside external places were very quiet and houses also there were not so much of noise, etc. No microphones, no amplifiers and no radios, no TVs and no mobile phones, etc. were there. So, things have drastically changed for the last 50 years. Then if nothing of this is useful, Mone, you just close your eyes, imagine a beautiful solitary place. This is what Patanjali Rishi, he advocates. Perhaps you have seen, you have gone to a beautiful mountain resort or you have seen a beautiful forest or you have seen a beautiful lake and some scenery had impressed you very much. It impressed you very much, you felt very happy and uplifted and calm and quiet. Recollect to that incident, place yourself in imagination in that place and then try to meditate. My favorite example would be that when I close my eyes, I am walking about 7, 7.30 in the evening towards Jairambati and even today Jairambati is a very quiet place and then slowly in that semi-darkness make my way towards where Mother is waiting for me and a small dim light is there in the corner throwing long shadows. I approach the Mother and as if the Mother's eyes were focused upon seeing where is my child, why is he not coming to see me and slowly we approach, her eyes literally lit up as soon as she beholds me, me, you, anybody and then I sit there and then she caresses me and she gives me beautiful prasada made with her own hands and then she will talk to talking and then we are alone and we converse with each other, then she says, Baba or Ma, whatever it may be, it is time, let us think of Thakur for a short time and she starts doing her japa and we start doing our own japa, I start doing it and it may be 10 minutes, 15 minutes, I am intensely aware of her presence and this is called Leela Dhyana and absolutely giving, leaving everything outside, no worries, nothing, me and my Mother and nothing else. This is called, in Shri Ramakrishna's captivating words, money in the corner of your mind but don't fill it up with all those things, either a beautiful scenario and you are there alone or you are with Shri Ramakrishna or Holy Mother or Krishna on the banks of the Yamuna, whatever you want to think about it, so this is what we have to do, this is called Vanaprastha Ashrama and then ultimately we are all, we have to give because when we are about to depart from this world, not only that, even in this world when we are in deep sleep, that is the state of Sannyasa, nothing to do with anything else excepting with God, pure consciousness or if we are a little bit aware also, there are times, no mother, no father, no wife, no husband, no children, no job, no social respect, disrespect can ever solve even a single bit of my worry or my problem. This is the greatest truth we have to cognize, they may be there to console us, to tell us words of consolation or to give us physically some help but we have to deal with our own mind and that complete helplessness, understanding I am totally helpless, only God can help me and surrender myself to that divine, this is called a life of Sannyasa. So whether a person knows it or not, whether he is a Hindu or non-Hindu, whether he follows a life of Sannyasa or non-Sannyasa, these are all the states that we all experience from birth to death, especially when we grow up a little. In this background we have been discussing Swami Vivekananda in his Karma Yoga, he brings out these beautiful topics, so let us deal with it. I have taken long introduction, I hope at least the idea about the four varnas and about the four states of life has become much more clear now. In essence what it is, these are states of mind, these are the states of our journey, these are the states of our progress in life and it has very little to do with outside things. Outside conditions will be let, I will put it maybe 1% helpful but 99% depends upon this right understanding and this is all dependent upon the what is called qualities. Please do not forget, every quality is good for its own purpose. Okay, so we are talking about Swami Vivekananda has been graphically describing about the duties of the householder, especially the husband. So we have seen how about his parents, how respectful he should be and there is also a spiritual secret here. We are not talking merely about social convenience and it is very economical also. If each family respects its own parents or elderly people whoever is there and takes care of them lovingly with a spiritual attitude, a lot of mental illness will automatically disappear. In the west people are suffering because they feel lonely. Loneliness is nothing but living an unworldly life, living an unspiritual life. Do we wish to go through the same experience the west is going through today? We are only enslaved by the glamorous gleanings that we see outwardly like a nice sweet is wrapped up in silver paper and it gleans like anything else and that is where we make the greatest mistake. So a householder should first start, what is spiritual life? Seeing divinity in everything and where should it start? First the mother because we are the closest to the mother, next it is father, next it is the teacher. So one should be highly respectable. There is no chance of anybody progressing in the spiritual life. The persons who do not look upon their parents as divine, even if they look upon them as human beings, very respected human beings, especially the children looking upon their parents is very good attitude but to look upon them as the divine, that is the greatest aid in progressing in spiritual life. So we have discussed elaborately with great examples in our last class including the story of the Pundalika and others and how Sai Ramakrishna, even though he was the greatest avatar, how he respected his parents, how Krishna respected his parents. Rama went to the forest because he respected his father and his mother and everybody. So Buddha did the same thing. Every great man does the same thing. In fact, if we wish to be great, start with respecting the parents. That is the best way to become great. Not only that, even Sai Ramakrishna says, that is very peculiar saying, if somebody really worships one's mother as God, that person will become very very prosperous in life and Manu Dharma Shastra it is there, where women are respected, Gods are highly pleased. Anyway, I have spoken about them. Now whatever little time is remaining, I will come, we will discuss about what is the householder's duty, means husband's duty towards his wife. No man should scold his wife and he must always maintain her as if she were his own mother and even when he is in the greatest difficulty and troubles, he must not show anger to his wife. He who thinks of another woman besides his wife, if this man touches the other woman even with his mind, that means with a thought, that man goes to dark hell. Remember, Swami Vivekananda was not telling, he is quoting from Maha Nirvana Tantra. Before woman, he must not talk improper language and never brag of his powers. He must not say, I have done this and I have done that. I will pass a little comment upon this before I go further. But chastity is the greatest thing and we all have heard all our Puranas, Dharmashastras, a wife must be extremely chaste even whether the husband is a rascal, a drunkard, a murderer or anybody. Here is Maha Nirvana Tantra saying, if any man thinks of any other woman, let alone doing something physically but even with, touches her even with his mind, that man goes to dark hell and which is literally true. What does it mean? Will he go to hell? What is meant is that that person will not progress in spiritual life and that person will remain bound to this world. That is the understanding. So, no man, no husband should scold his wife. He must respect her as a divine mother. So, here also, the wife also must treat the husband in the same way. But the emphasis is not only should a wife be chaste, the husband also must be very chaste. Not only that, I will tell you something very interesting. When we are talking these words husband and wife, what does it mean? The relationship between a man, a male and a female. A husband and wife doesn't mean only that sex relationship. They may enjoy themselves. In fact, they have to do that because they have to produce children. That's a different issue. And how much time will they be spending only enjoying each other? Very little time. So, simple example, when a mother is feeding the husband, she should look upon him as her most beloved child. She is one among her children if she has children. When the husband is in need of some advice, then the wife must give, she will give the most sincere advice and sometimes outside advice is more objective and practical than what a person can himself think or this. When the person is sick, she must serve him. Like that, her roles are she can be the mother, she can be the friend, she can be the advisor. In fact, that is what an ideal wife should be as described by Bhartra Hari so beautifully. So, her relationship with her husband as male or female is only for a very short time. Rest of the time, all the other roles come in and she should always look upon her husband as a divinity himself. That is how she progresses in spiritual life. That is how he progresses in spiritual life. And here comes something psychology. Before woman, he must not talk improper language. That means what? If he talks anything, smacking of any worldliness or body, you are beautiful and your sari is nice, it indicates he is cherishing a sexual desire. I am putting it frankly and this is what I mentioned earlier in my classes. Supposing, you are walking in the street and you see a car. Say, that is a beautiful car that you are not talking like a big artist. You are saying my mind desires that car and I cannot have that car. That's why I am expressing it in language. You see a house and say that is a beautiful house, meaning I would like to have that house. You see another woman with beautiful saris or ornaments. Oh, beautiful sari, beautiful ornaments, meaning what? I want it. The moment we say it is nice, it is beautiful, it is tasty, it indicates a desire on our parts. However unconscious it may be, however the man or woman may not express it explicitly or may not do anything wrong, but in the mind already the seed is sown. That should be avoided. That is what is employed by Maha Nirvana Tantra. And then he is telling, you know, he must never say I have done this and I have done that. Why should he not say? Because this bragging indicates, look, I am a very desirable male because I have this power, I have done this, I have proved to myself and to others, I am quite capable and it also means probably your husband, he is not as good as me, I am more desirable than your husband. So many things are employed in this. So he should always be humble. The householder must always please his wife with money, cloths, love, faith and words like nectar and never do anything to disturb her. Again, Shri Ramakrishna's example comes to my mind. One night, Holy Mother came to Shri Ramakrishna's room and she did something supplying water or something and she was about to go and Shri Ramakrishna was in a half sleep state and he thought it was his niece Lakshmi and then, you know, we use three words in most of our languages, respectful language, Aap or if they are equal, Tum or if it is inferior, servants or children or smaller in age, Tui. So he used that word Tui thinking it was Lakshmi and mother said yes. Then Shri Ramakrishna realized it was not Lakshmi, it was Holy Mother and the next morning he went and apologized to her. My dear, please do not mind. I thought it was Lakshmi. The word Tui slipped from my mind. I should never have uttered that word. Of course, Holy Mother never minded even if he had intentionally used also, she would not have minded. She is after all embodiment of Saraswati. So such was his love, respect for Holy Mother and that's why as I mentioned, said I was so lucky, fortunate to get a husband who never hurt me even with a flower. So the man who has succeeded in getting the love of a chaste wife has succeeded in his religion and has all the virtues. I will put a little comment upon this. What does it mean? See, the words are very important. That man who has succeeded in getting the love of a chaste wife has succeeded in his religion and has all the virtues that are needed to progress in spiritual life. Who is a chaste wife? Here is a secret. Any woman who only has love and devotion to God can alone become a chaste wife. Remember, I repeat it again. A woman who has no devotion to God can never become a chaste wife. Only a spiritual person, a wife who has tremendous bhakti towards God and she alone can think of her husband as God, such a person is a chaste wife. Not only that, the word chastity has tremendous meanings. Chastity means even when a householder is having relationships with his wife or wife with the husband, if they are only thinking about each other with great respect, they are spiritual people, they are the most chaste people. Remember, remember the story of the Dharma Vyatha. There was a brahmana and he did tapasya and one day he looked up angrily and he burnt a crow and he came out for begging and the wife, he came to one householder's house for his alms and he stood and maybe said, Bhavati Bhiksham Dehi. That is our tradition. Divine mother, will you give me some alms? And from inside came my son and he must have been older than her, maybe, but for every woman whether he is young or 100 years old is like a son. So my son, please wait, I am serving my husband. I will come shortly and will give you. And these dark thoughts were passing through this brahmana, ascetic. How dare? I am an ascetic sanyasi and she is serving her worthless husband and she is keeping me outside. Such thoughts, negative thoughts must have passed through him. That is not tapasya, anything but tapasya. Then immediately gentle sweet voice came, my son, I am not a crow, you can burn with your look. And he was shocked. I am reminding you that story and any number of times you have to remember. And then she came out and then he asked, how did you know what had happened when I was alone? He said, I don't know. I only serve my husband as God and somehow God has given me this intuition. I know what has happened. She was not proud. She was very humble and then she said, this is not the way to progress in spiritual life. Go to such and such a village. There you meet your future guru. And she gave her his name. And this man was by that time astonished and he also acknowledged. He went to the next village and enquired about that man whom she mentioned and he was terribly shocked because it was a butcher. And then he stood there. The butcher to his great shock said, oh sir, such and such a lady had asked you to come here and meet me. This man's astonishment was growing by the minute and then he finished his duty as a butcher and took him home and he said, you please sit here and wait. My old parents are there. I will serve them and I will come and meet you. Then there was a beautiful conversation which if you are interested, you can go through in Mahabharata. This is called Dharma Vyadha Sambhashana, dialogue of the virtuous butcher and the Brahmana ascetic. Now what are we talking about here? A wife can be a chaste wife provided she is spiritual, not otherwise. Otherwise worldly love will come. Chastity means spiritual love and spiritual love can come only if there is faith in God and faith in spiritual life and discharging things in a particular way. So if a wife is such a spiritual person and even if the husband is not a very spiritual person, if he gets the love, what do you think the wife will be doing? She will be only praying, oh Lord, please make my husband spiritual, your devotee, your child. Let him also turn his face towards you. Let him also. Day and night a chaste wife's only prayer is all her children including the husband, they also must turn spiritual and progress in spiritual life. That is called chastity, real chastity. That's what Swami Vivekananda means. That man who has succeeded in getting the love of a chaste wife has succeeded in his religion and he develops all the virtues because here is the great satsanga is there. Remember when we are talking the husband also must be chaste and the wife also must be chaste and the seven steps that one goes around the fire and takes the vows is meant only to acknowledge, oh God Vishnu, we are getting wedded together, we are co-pilgrims, we would like to come both of us helping each other and supporting each other and bringing up all our children so they become children of you and we all come together. Our ultimate goal is to come towards you. So much of nice things are embedded in these beautiful, simple duties and that is why the whole first part of the Veda called Mimamsa, Purva Mimamsa, earlier part of the Vedas, aptly called Dharmashastra has been so much developed. We are so lucky, so fortunate to get so many great saints here and to be able to discuss these thoughts and we will continue our talk in our next class. May Sri Ramakrishna, Holy Mother and Swami Vivekananda bless us all with Bhakti.