View source for Post Aarathi Talk 01 on 3rd March 2017

== Full Transcript(Not Corrected) ==
Emotion is called electronic motion.
That which goes up and then goes down.
Both ways it works.
It goes up, it goes down.
So sometimes we are very happy.
And like wave you know,
you know the law of the wave.
Whatever goes up has to come down.
If there is a high wave,
there is somewhere else, there is another deep hollow.
That is a law.
So the higher you climb,
then the harder you follow that.
This is just like the physical gravity.
So mental gravity is there.
So our problem, we have no problem going up.
But we have a big problem coming down.
Why? There is a law.
Going high means what?
Only happiness, nothing else.
We feel very happy.
That is called high.
So what happens, the law is,
once we have experienced a higher happiness
than what we are accustomed to experience usually,
we don't want, the mind becomes accustomed to that
and expects that.
So naturally things will not go like that.
So it comes down.
When it comes down, the higher up we experience,
and the harder will be the fall.
The higher the place from where you fall,
the harder will be the hurt, the blow.
That is what happens physically as well as mentally.
If one wants to experience that level of happiness,
that higher happiness,
wouldn't one already be of,
when you say fall, the fall will be greater?
Because fall means what? It is not a permanent state.
It is a temporary state.
Temporary state is always caused by temporary reasons, causes.
If the cause is not permanent,
it is like pitching a tent.
It is meant only for a short time.
It is not meant to be permanent residence.
But if you want permanent residence,
then you must have a very strong foundation
which will not remove us.
So that is the problem which we have got.
Without building a foundation,
we expect that we should be there.
So every time it is like a temporary foundation,
means any temporary occasion.
And another thing is,
whether we are experiencing happiness,
or happiness is experiencing us,
that is the problem.
This is called passive experience.
There are two types of experiences,
active experience and passive experience.
A simple example,
you are reading a book,
and it is an absorbing book.
So absorbing book means what? You are absorbed.
When you are absorbed,
is it you who chose to be absorbed,
or the cause is an external one,
which makes you absorbed?
It is the external cause of the experience.
You know, same subject matter, same story,
if someone else presents it,
maybe it is not that savoury.
That is, you have to plod,
that is why we call it plodding.
Some books, good material, but we have to plod.
Some books, bad material,
but it is just a page turner, you call it.
So two types of page turning.
One page turning, you know,
because the book really pulls you,
you are impatient,
what happens to the next,
what happens to the heroine,
whether she is killed or she is rescued,
what is the hero doing there.
The other is such a heavy material,
that hardly anything, you are turning the page,
but nothing is going inside.
And we are the cause for that,
because we are not paying attention to it.
So that is what the nature of emotion,
is it coming from outside,
or is it coming from inside.
So if you love something,
that is called active experience.
If you love because someone else is loving you,
that is called passive experience.
So what happens as soon as that outside agency,
which stops loving you,
you don't respond anymore,
because it is that which is making you love,
the moment that love stops,
you also don't feel like loving back.
That means that is called the childish stage.
It is in psychological language,
it is called oral stage.
Oral means everything goes into the mouth.
So a small child, anything,
a piece of wood, plastic, food,
anything that he sees,
he tries to put it in the mouth.
In psychological, they divide it into stages.
This is called oral stage.
And most men, most people,
they stop their growth only at this oral stage.
It means only receiving and receiving and receiving,
never giving anything.
So what is emotional maturity?
Even if something causes either happiness
or even unhappiness,
if I am a mature person,
I do experience something.
If it is happiness, happiness.
If it is unhappiness, unhappiness.
I experience both,
but very quickly I recover.
Why?
Because I do not have expectations.
Our problem is,
once some good experience comes,
it should stay.
But no experience will stay
unless you produce the causes.
If it is a temporary cause,
it is temporary.
You know, like going and staying in a hotel.
You pay some money.
For a few days,
you have a wonderful palatial treatment.
But the moment your preservation is over,
they will be very happy.
And if you don't quit,
they will be very happy to help you.
But if you buy a palace,
that would be yours permanently.
So what is emotional maturity?
Let good come.
Let evil come.
Let happiness come.
Let unhappiness come.
Not that you don't experience it,
but your mind will not move.
That means what?
Experiencing is one thing,
but keeping the mind equanimous is another factor.
These two, always you can see that.
Very interesting, you know.
Suppose a mother has got four or five children,
and constantly they are creating so much noise.
So the mother doesn't even mind.
She sleeps happily, snores also.
But the moment she goes somewhere,
and even one-tenth of that noise is going on,
she gets irritated.
What is the difference?
This is noise, that is also noise.
What is the difference?
Here, these are my children.
I love them.
So whatever is loved is accepted.
Whatever is loved is accepted.
So do you love the downside of life?
You have to love.
That is what let Shyama dance there.
Swamiji has written.
People put flute in the hands of God,
and it is so melodious, so sweet.
And that is not wanted.
He says, take up.
Let Shyama dance in this Mashana.
Shyama means Makali.
Where does Shyama reside?
In the crematoriums.
Because what is her specialty?
Kali.
That's one of the things.
We don't see the other.
That's why Kali has got four hands.
So right hand has got right side.
There are two hands.
Vara and Abhaya.
But this is called Abhaya.
This is called Vara.
So this shows you have security.
This is called fearlessness.
Abhaya, Bhaya, Abhaya.
You are not going to die,
and everything will be okay.
I am giving you, protecting you, security.
But okay, there is no fear.
But I want to enjoy life.
I will give you Vara.
Vara means what?
I will sustain you.
I will give you whatever you want,
provided you turn to me.
Very beautiful concept.
But man forgets where is the other side.
Because it is part of the same cycle.
Srishti, Stithi, Laya are part of the same cycle.
Srishti, Stithi, Vinashanam,
Shakti, Bhute, Sanatani,
Gunashraye, Gunamayu, Narayani,
and also we sing every day.
So that is what is emotional maturity.
We have to remember the Divine Mother.
On the left side, there is a decapitated head,
and a sword.
What is it? Kala.
Anything that comes into birth,
must have death.
It has to change.
But we apply it not only to birth.
It applies to all experiences.
If there is a birth of happiness,
there will be also old age of happiness,
growth of happiness,
and death of happiness.
So what is old age of happiness?
Does happiness attain old age?
Yes.
I will tell you, because
if we examine any action we are doing,
you see, the moment you entered into this room,
you sat down,
and that sitting down is an act of happiness.
But as you continue to sit,
that happiness becomes old.
Happiness becomes old.
Old means what? It is not so pleasant any longer.
Then you start fidgeting,
then you start having a little bit ache,
a little bit ache there,
and then you get up.
Getting up is the death of happiness of sitting.
So also, another example,
you have nice idli sambar.
First bite
will give you the highest happiness.
But the second bite, if you observe,
it doesn't give more happiness.
It rather gives less happiness.
Like chewing gum.
First, the moment, it is very pleasant.
But as you go on chewing, only you are chewing,
but nothing is coming out of it,
excepting your working,
your saliva, that's all.
Anything like that.
First time when you eat, a few seconds,
the happiness is greater.
And slowly, it falls.
Slowly it becomes less.
And a time will come,
the very same thing which gave you happiness,
will also give you unhappiness.
This is the truth with regard to every single experience,
excepting it should be in meditation.
Meditation means more meditation, more happiness.
Because that's not an objective experience.
That is a subjective experience.
That is the difference.
So if you analyze any experience of yours,
you will see there is a birth,
there is a growth,
there is old age, and there is death.
So any emotional thing is also the same.
Either good or bad.
I'll give some examples.
I'll give the example for happiness.
I'll give the example for unhappiness.
How that also has a birth,
has a growth, has an old age,
and there is a death.
What is it?
Supposing you are living in a very clean place,
and then you move to a slum area,
which is full of foul smell.
The moment you go there,
the highest experience of unhappiness.
But as you start staying,
slowly it becomes less and less.
Unhappiness becomes less and less and less.
And after some time,
you cease to take notice of smell.
When you first came,
you were not taking notice of anything excepting that.
But if you start living there,
after some time,
you don't take notice of it at all.
Same thing happens with noise also.
If you are in a very quiet place,
and you go to a very noisy place,
you feel terribly disturbed.
But you stay there for a few days,
and afterwards you are happily sleeping,
and you don't even take notice of it,
even though it is still there.
So, both.
Now what happens,
in our case,
both happiness and unhappiness
produce mental agitation.
Why?
Because we expect happiness,
and we don't expect.
That means,
in a positive way of putting it,
we don't expect unhappiness,
and we expect happiness.
In a negative way of putting it.
So, unhappiness also,
we expect no unhappiness.
That's why the expectation produces that effect.
In fact, it is the expectation
which is the cause of our high and low moods.
If you don't have expectation,
I mean,
this is all psychology, you know.
Suppose, you are working,
and suddenly without you expecting anything,
you are promoted to a high job.
You feel very happy.
You think, I never expected it.
But actually,
you were expecting it unconsciously,
but you have given up all hopes.
Because it happened,
otherwise you would not feel happy.
Supposing you always say,
that I don't really have any expectation.
If it happens, I let it happen.
If it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen.
So, for such a person,
even if something happens,
either good or bad,
he won't be agitated like us.
Some experience will be there,
but there is a subtlety between this experience.
What is that experience?
What is the subtle point of this one?
If a person can equanimously remain,
cultivate equanimity,
that means the mind will be sane under any circumstance.
Not that the experience will not be there.
This is a great mistake people make.
If you push a pin into my hand,
or into a saint's hand,
the experience would be painful.
But the mental reaction would be different.
Don't think that saints do not feel it.
There are conditions where they don't feel it.
If their mind is taken off,
they have that power,
they can take off their mind.
Like Ramana Maharshi,
he had a very painful operation.
Carbuncle, you know.
A growth was there.
Even if you feather touch,
it will produce excruciating pain.
But he told the doctor,
you go and operate it.
I don't need anesthesia,
even local anesthesia.
He went on looking,
and the doctor had finished cutting off that part,
the swelling, you know.
When something swells in you,
it becomes very painful to the touch.
The skin becomes extra sensitive.
And that operation was done,
stitching was done,
no reaction at all.
But does it mean he doesn't feel the pain?
Both conditions are there.
I will tell you an interesting example,
the real incident.
Swami Turiyananda, same thing happened.
His hand had to be operated.
So it was very painful.
The doctor told,
I will give you anesthesia,
you will not feel anything.
Turiyananda said,
no, give me a few minutes,
when I tell you,
you start your operation.
After a few, one or two minutes,
he said, go ahead.
And the doctor gingerly touched with the knife,
no reaction.
So he cut.
The whole operation is done.
And Swami Turiyananda was looking,
absolutely no pain.
Then stitching was done,
bandage was done.
Then next morning,
the doctor came to see how well it is healing.
And he removed the bandage.
And yesterday's experience,
Swami allowed him to cut.
So he touched it with the knife.
The moment he touched it,
Swami Turiyananda cried out,
ahh, like that, with pain.
The doctor was shocked.
Swami, yesterday I did the whole operation,
you didn't say anything.
He said, yesterday,
I asked you to give me a little time.
I withdrew my mind from that part.
It is like having an anesthesia.
That's what happens.
Pain is there,
but we don't feel it.
It is not that there is no pain.
So there are two states are there.
When their mind is absorbed in samadhi,
they don't have any consciousness of the body.
Therefore, they don't feel any experience,
happiness or unhappiness.
We are also like that.
If someone is sleeping,
and you put one rasagulla in that person's mouth,
nothing is going to happen.
He neither experiences happiness nor unhappiness,
because he doesn't know about it.
But when his mind is aware of the body,
then he will experience exactly like anybody else.
But his mental attitude,
okay, body is there,
sometimes it is happy, it is unhappy,
I accept it.
He prepared his mind.
That is called emotional maturity.
But we are not talking only physically.
Most of us suffer most from mental pain
than physical pain.
People of whom we have expectations,
they create a great amount of unhappiness.
That is the problem with us.
There are many ways,
and we can take the help of all those things.
So, four main things I can tell you.
First thing is,
if I am experiencing unhappiness or pain or suffering,
we are believers in the law of karma.
So I must have done something to experience it.
Secondly, the will of God.
And thirdly, we can say,
we can compare ourselves to other people and say,
what I am experiencing is nothing
in comparison to what other people are going most of the time.
Which is a fact.
This is not something you have to imagine.
It is a truth.
In Syria...
I don't know if that is right.
I am not saying if it is right or not right.
But...
I don't know what I am trying to say.
We are comparing our situation with somebody else's
to make ourselves feel better.
Yeah.
Is that a good thing?
Very good thing.
But this comparison is in two ways.
When we are comparing with other people,
let us compare other people's unhappiness or suffering
with our suffering to minimize our suffering.
That helps.
But we should never do the other way round.
Oh, that person is earning crores of rupees,
I am only earning a small bit of money.
That is a bad comparison.
That will be jealousy.
I don't say jealousy.
It is a kind of bad comparison.
But the other way,
you compare with others in both ways.
There are so many people who do not have what I have.
And there are so many people who are suffering
more than I am suffering.
So let me be thankful to God.
This is the third way.
The fourth way is a philosophical way.
Because everybody by birth,
so janma means what?
There will be vardhate, person grows.
Then apakshiyate, then slowly deterioration will come.
And heat and cold.
When the sun shines, it is not shining only for me.
It shines for everybody.
And when the cold wind blows,
the wind doesn't blow only for me.
It blows for everybody.
This is the nature of things.
So we have to accept.
Everybody will have their own ups and downs.
It is separate from karma.
Natural law.
This is called philosophy.
And Zen Buddhists, they emphasize on this point.
So a Zen master was asked,
Master, you are always so serene and peaceful.
What is the reason?
And he said very beautifully,
When it is winter, I say it is winter.
When it is summer, I say it is summer.
Did you get it?
When you are in South India, Madras,
in the month of May, June, April, May, June,
if you are a Zen practitioner,
you say, I say it is summer.
That means what? Summer will be like this.
So I accept it.
The thing is,
I am not saying that everybody knows it is summer,
but they don't accept it.
But if you are in a very cold region,
in winter season, which is very cold,
even here it could be very cold,
you say, OK, it is winter.
Sometimes you can even say,
it was not as bad as last year.
This is very practical philosophy.
Instead of trying to get depressed
or blaming other people,
you say, either it is my karma
or it is God's will,
in comparison with so many other people,
I am much better.
And this is the nature of things.
These are the four ways
to cope with any situation.
That is called emotional maturity.
So it applies to practically
in every day-to-day, in every way.
Supposing that somebody dies in the family.
You heard, you know,
our Suparithi's, Sunil's,
eldest brother, who was 92 years old,
and he started sobbing like a child.
And Suparithi was telling him,
why are you sobbing like that, 92 years?
And he escaped the suffering, he has gone.
That is useless.
That is called emotional immaturity.
You are also 73, 74.
What is the point in doing this now?
We say, I am sorry to hear.
I also say, but I don't feel sorry.
When an 80 or 90 years old person dies,
I say, God bless that person,
instead of suffering more
and making other people also suffer.
And sometimes we are also hypocrites.
Suppose there is an elderly member,
and not dying, and suffering.
We say, God, out of your infinite mercy,
please lessen this person's suffering.
Means you make him die.
Because we are not bothered about that person's suffering.
We are bothered about our suffering,
because we have to do so many things.
We are all selfish.
Anybody who loves,
he doesn't feel this one thing.
These are practical things.
You don't need to be highly spiritual for all those things.
Because these are inevitable things.
That is the point.
So many things are there.
That is called emotional immaturity.
Let whatever situation comes,
it comes, it goes.
Another very important point is,
whatever comes, it also goes.
Agama payeno anityah
tan titikshasva bharata
matra sparshastu kaunteya
sita ushna sukha dukkhada
Agama payeno anityah
tan titikshasva bharata
Agama apayi
Agama means that which comes.
Apayi means that which goes.
See, you have come to Vedanta Center,
and you have to go.
As simple as that.
These are the things which we have to keep in mind.
Whatever comes, nothing is permanent in this world.
We know that.
Because some event which has troubled you very much,
say 10 years back, 20 years back,
is it troubling you now?
Maybe there was an incident when you could not sleep.
But now, does it make you sleepless?
Not at all. Why?
Because time covers so many things.
So that is the important thing.
Every situation, if you can say,
OK, let me look at this situation
from the viewpoint of 20 years,
it helps.
Do you think that you are going to lose sleep after 20 years?
Yes.
There is not that you are living.
You are made to live.
You can live moment by moment.
You are a blessed person.
But it is not that you are living.
You are made to live.
We are all made to live.
So these are very emotional maturities.
It also helps in our regular habits.
Say you want to visit Vedanta Center.
Much of the time, it is dependent upon your emotional maturity.
You know, you feel good, feel happy,
you want to come.
I am not in a mood to go to Vedanta Center.
You will invent any number of excuses
why you cannot come.
You see, these are the points, very important points.
We should not do anything because of our dictations of the emotion.
You choose to do, then it is good.
Yes.
In fact, one person, a very beautiful book he has written,
Emotional Intelligence.
I forget his name.
I think David Goldman or somebody like that.
Goldman, David Goldman.
Beautiful book.
Emotional Intelligence.
So emotion is not bad.
That is one thing you have to understand.
If you don't have emotions, you have no problem.
But Swami used to give the example, a wall.
You know, you pour milk or rasagulla.
It doesn't show, I am very happy.
It doesn't tell a lie.
Or you beat it.
It doesn't react to you.
But a wall is a wall.
Nothing but a wall.
That's what...
A cow never tells a lie.
Is it true?
A cow never tells a lie.
It doesn't tell a lie, not in the sense a human being is telling a lie.
Because there are some cows,
when you let the calf go, immediately it gives milk.
But when you go...
Very interesting.
It knows, but it is not because it wants to tell lies to you.
It loves its young one.
This milk is meant for my young one, not for you, fellow.
So, emotion must work in every field of life.
So, if you don't have emotion, you are not a human being.
But it doesn't mean...
So, you should be under the thumb of the emotion.
All our problems are because of our emotions.
People don't want to come and live with you.
Because of what? Emotion.
And people want to live with you.
Because of what? Emotion.
You want to eat something, because of what? Emotion.
You don't want to eat something, because of what? Emotion.
You want to call on God, because of what? Emotion.
And you don't want to call on God, because of what? Emotion.
Yes. We are all slaves to this emotion.
Swamiji, you know, when he was a young child, something very interesting happened.
He was very mischievous and very, very restless.
Shiva's energy, terrible energy.
So what happened, whenever he was too mischievous,
his mother would forcibly take him, put him under a tap, cold water,
and open the tap and utter Shiva, Shiva, Shiva, Shiva.
The moment he hears the word Shiva, immediately calms down.
Then, later on, it became an autonomous response.
You know, there were situations when he had to suffer a lot.
But when a lot of people hurt him,
because Swamiji was a very, very innocent person,
he trusted people, but people cheated him right and left.
He gave his love freely.
That's why Thakur criticizes him,
why do you bring all these one-eyed and what is called, Tarachok?
What is that, Tarachok?
Squint-eyed fellows, why do you bring all those fellows?
Swamiji had a predilection.
Somehow, he starts gathering all these type of people near him,
and he suffered until the very last, very, very much hurt,
because he was a man of tremendous feeling.
So, don't think he was a rock, he was a stone, pathar.
But he paid a very heavy price.
But as soon as something comes, he shivers, shivers.
In a second, the whole episode is washed off.
So cheerfully.
So, we also must have some kind of this thing,
some mantra, some chant,
which says and calms us down and makes us a little emotionally mature and all that.
So, one such story was there, you know,
there was a prince and his mother loved him very much.
So, this prince, what happened, his mother was dying.
When she was dying, she called him and said,
My child, whenever you are in the greatest suffering, situation of suffering,
she gave, what is that called?
Talisman.
Talisman, one talisman.
You always put it around your neck,
and when you are in the greatest suffering, open it.
Because I have given you a mantra.
So, he said yes, and from that time onwards, he started wearing it.
And very soon, she passed away.
And then, he became the king.
And he got married.
No, not married, he was the king.
Very intelligent, very talented, very efficient.
So, some powerful enemy king came and occupied,
declared battle and conquered him, and he had to run away.
So, he ran and ran and ran,
and entered into a neighboring city,
belonging to some other king.
And somehow he survived.
And, no, I am sorry, he was running and running and running away.
He entered into a deep forest.
Deep forest.
You know, from being a king,
now without any attendants,
without anybody to love,
with no food, no drink,
no place to stay,
and with these wild animals under the tree,
tremendous depression overcame him.
So, he was brooding.
Why this thing happened to me?
Idly, his fingers touched the talisman,
and he opened.
Because his mother's words, he opened.
There was a small piece of paper.
Four words were there.
This too will pass away.
That's all.
And he knew, whatever his mother gave him is the truth.
He then gathered his hopes,
and went to the neighboring city,
and started doing some small jobs,
because he was very efficient, very intelligent.
Very soon, he joined the army,
and became the commander-in-chief,
and then he protected the kingdom,
and the king fell in love with him,
and he had a daughter,
so he got him married,
and in his turn, he became the king,
neighboring king,
and then with sufficient strength,
he came to his old capital,
and defeated that fellow,
and occupied.
But from that time onwards,
every day he became very happy,
he would open in the morning,
this too will pass away.
This is the talisman.
And that is true.
This too will pass away.
How many things have not passed away in your life?
How many husbands passed away?
How many wives passed away?
How many parents passed away?
How many children passed away?
How many friends passed away?
How many enemies passed away?
That is the fact of life.
We are not talking about imaginative philosophy,
because God is there or not.
This is a fact of life.
And it works in that way.
So that is what scriptures are telling.
Everything is temporary,
means what? This too will pass away.
What remains? That is the question.
Everything passes away.
What remains? I remain.
Only I remain.
I means what?
Brahman, Atman, God,
whatever you call it.
I remain.
All right. Thank you.

[[Category:Post Aarathi Talks]]